2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Om 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Weekly, comedian best friends Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer get together in the bear cave at YMH Studios to do what bears do: make each other laugh.

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Pimping Podcast Producers | 2 Bears, 1 Cave29.12.2025 (01:06:19)
SPONSORS: - New Year, New Me! Get Huel for FIFTEEN PERCENT OFF with this exclusive offer for New Customers only with code BEARS at https://huel.com/bears (Minimum $75 purchase). The Winter Bears Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for another completely unhinged takeover of 2 Bears 1 Cave. With Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer nowhere to be found, the guys openly admit they once again didn’t prepare, and then immediately spiral into bread rankings, prostate exams, STD horror stories, religion, celebrity gossip, and the most deranged podcast business ideas ever pitched. From focaccia-based trauma, to almost doing business with Jeffrey Epstein’s brother, this episode goes fully off the rails and never checks the map again. Hit subscribe, brace yourself, and remember: this episode exists only because someone might need it someday. https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2 https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 321 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ https://www.stavvy.biz/ https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:38 - Fat Boy Pastry Shop 00:07:42 - Just The Tip 00:11:53 - Sexually Transmitted Hilarity 00:25:13 - Family 00:31:15 - Third World Fun & Legendary Funbags 00:35:13 - Pimping Podcast Producers 00:43:42 - Doing Business With An Epstein 00:54:16 - Health Corner 01:01:52 - In Conclusion Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chris & Stavvy Save Christmas! | 2 Bears, 1 Cave22.12.2025 (01:09:51)
SPONSORS: - If you’re 21 or older, get 25% OFF your first order + free shipping @IndaCloud with code BEARS at https://inda.shop/BEARS! #indacloudpod - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS. - Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com Merry Winter Bears-mas! Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano take over 2 Bears 1 Cave while Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are away, and immediately turn it into a holiday fever dream. The Winter Bears dive into chaotic Christmas traditions, Jewish Christmas supremacy, family trauma, weight-loss delusion, wild childhood memories, and the politics of gift-giving. Along the way, they spiral into ancestry revelations, Oldboy-level revenge fantasies, questionable parenting strategies, croissant mukbangs, and an all-time debate over the perfect Christmas Chinese food order. Grab a pastry and strap in — this might be the most unhinged holiday episode in 2 Bears history. https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2 https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 320 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ https://www.stavvy.biz/ https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:57 - Revenge & Christmas Plans 00:06:57 - The Germans Always Make Good Stuff 00:16:33 - Perfect Holiday Dinner Conversations 00:23:38 - Are Greeks Whites? 00:30:40 - Let's Eat Some Tommy Bunz 00:33:35 - Christmas Gifts 00:44:09 - Greek Thieves, Bribing Kids, & Daddy Stavvy 00:52:17 - Favorite Chinese Food Order 00:59:00 - Living The NYC Dream 01:02:28 - Answering Some "Fan" Questions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Summer Bears Came For The Winter | 2 Bears, 1 Cave15.12.2025 (01:10:25)
SPONSORS: - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get your free quote at https://Ethos.com/BEARS - Head to https://DRINKAG1.com/BEARS you’ll get the welcome kit, a Morning Person hat, a bottle of Vitamin D3+K2, a AG1 Flavor Sampler and you’ll get to try their new sleep supplement AGZ for free. - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. Christmas CAME early! The Summer Bears are now the *Winter Bears* and they have returned to phone it in and fulfill some contractually obligated laughs. Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias invade YMH Studios to talk awful breakfast decisions, Bert’s cruise from hell, fat-guy medicine science, Husky-induced life chaos, bombing on MTV, fighting GLP-1 drugs, Mike Tyson saving Big Pun at The Tunnel, and why both of them should never own pets, houses, or functioning digestive systems. It’s chaotic, barely prepared, medically concerning, and absolutely perfect. Enjoy! https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2 https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 319 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ https://www.stavvy.biz/ https://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling problem? Call one eight hundred Gambler. In New York, call 8778-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369). In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit https://ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (Kansas). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in Illinois. Twenty-one plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://DKNG.co/audio. Limited time offer. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:29 - Slutty Little Breakfast 00:07:14 - Podcast Polyamory 00:14:15 - Chrissy Housing Crisis 00:21:35 - Stavros Vs Fat Guy Medicine 00:31:48 - Fat Joe, Guy Code, & Graveyard Of Failed Shows 00:46:14 - Maybe The Worst Dog Ever 00:56:17 - Geopolitical Shenanigans & NYC Mayors 01:08:11 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
My Soul Will Always Be Fat | 2 Bears, 1 Cave08.12.2025 (01:07:19)
SPONSORS: - Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://bluechew.com - If you’re 21 or older, get 25% OFF your first order + free shipping @IndaCloud with code BEARS at https://inda.shop/BEARS! #indacloudpod - For a limited time Hollow Socks is having a Buy 2, Get 2 Free Sale. Head to https://hollowsocks.com/ today to check out their huge sale. #HollowSockspod - Get 15% OFF your entire order with code BEARS at https://Manscaped.com. - Anyway, if you want to try Rho Nutrition’s NAD+, the Glutathione, whatever, they’re giving 20% off with the code BEARS at https://rhonutrition.com/discount/BEARS This week, Bert’s wasting away, Tom’s tucking in his shirts, and the Bears are going into hibernation for the winter. Before that good news, Bert breaks down losing 25 lbs in a month, projectile-vomiting in airport bathrooms, and Tom producing Olympic-level protein farts. Tom also talks his new pastry empire and defends his son’s obsession with suits and hair product; along the way they dive into Bert’s DEXA scan nightmare, and some chaotic CMA stories including a Steve Martin panic-meeting and Billy Bob Thornton being a king. They also discuss robe culture, aging out of podcasting, comedian fashion, the future of 2 Bears with guest hosts, tours and the 2 Bears 5K, plus they announce the return of the Summer Bears next week. Enjoy! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 318 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:02 - OzemBert & Gassy Tim 00:09:17 - Fat Boy Dreams 00:19:35 - Dressing Like An Adult Is Hard 00:28:44 - Country Music Awards Chaos 00:39:57 - Robe Guys & Big Joe Pesci Energy 00:46:22 - Crisis Of Appearance 00:52:03 - Quentin Tarantino 00:55:46 - The Winter Bears, 2025 Look Back, & 2 Bears 5k 01:06:14 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Dark Side of Internet Fame w/ Marcus King | 2 Bears, 1 Cave01.12.2025 (01:28:06)
SPONSORS: - Go to https://HelloFresh.com/bears10fm now to Get 10 Free Meals + a Free breakfast for Life! - Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://bluechew.com This week, Bert Kreischer sits down with musician Marcus King for a wild, emotional ride—naked ocean stories with Navy SEALs, cocaine confessions, microdosing mushrooms, Southern rock rankings, and why internet comments haunt grown men at 3AM. Plus: TikTok ruining music, therapy drunk, and Bert accidentally following people who hate him. Check it out! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 317 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:30 - Southern Rock & Creating Your Own Lane 00:07:01 - Marcus' Process, New Album, & Otis Redding 00:14:55 - Cigars With James Earl Jones 00:17:47 - Sobriety, Microdosing, & Losing the Sparkle 00:29:52 - Loving Yourself While The Internet Hates You 00:42:43 - Ranking Southern Rock Bands 00:49:44 - TikTok Ruining Music & Comedy 00:54:55 - It's Raining Tom 00:57:00 - Authentic Relationships 01:02:23 - The Most Realest Artists Out There 01:13:49 - Back To Top Southern Rock Bands 01:20:31 - Eulogies & Final Thoughts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Louis C.K. on Writing His First Novel and Returning to Stage | 2 Bears, 1 Cave24.11.2025 (01:09:00)
SPONSORS: - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get your free quote at https://ethos.com/bears - Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. ‌ In this powerful and surprisingly emotional episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura sits down with Louis C.K. to discuss his new novel Ingram, the creative process behind writing fiction, and the brutal emotional reality of loneliness and childhood struggle. Louis explains why he quit stand-up for over a year, how stepping away from the stage changed his life, and what ultimately pulled him back into comedy. The conversation dives deep into fear, pain, trauma, comedy philosophy, empathy, war stories, emotional burnout, and why the darkest moments in life can shape the most powerful art. Tom reveals that reading Ingram made him cry, and Louis talks about the deeply disturbing next book he’s finishing—including a scene that shocked even him while writing it. They also explore the controversial idea of “punching down” in comedy, the ethics of humor, and why Louis believes the funniest material comes from the messy truth of being human. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 316 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling problem? Call one eight hundred Gambler. In New York, call 8778-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369). In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling. Call eight eight eight seven eight nine seven seven seven seven or visit https://ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (Kansas). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in Illinois. Twenty-one plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://dkng.co/audio. Limited time offer. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:00 - Becoming A Novelist, Eastern Europe, & Russian Literature 00:05:12 - Quitting Stand Up & Daily Rituals 00:08:47 - Writing Ingram & Why Tom Teared Up 00:19:38 - Loneliness, Street Kids, & the Human Threshold for Empathy 00:34:27 - Trauma, War & Emotional Damage 00:39:17 - Coming Back to Stand-Up & Rebuilding Material 00:46:22 - Upsetting Audiences, Articulating Thoughts, & Punching Down 00:59:59 - Touring Burnout & The Future of Live Comedy 01:06:42 - Final Thoughts & Tom Praises Ingram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
My Dad Was Probably A Murderer w/ Kirk Fox | 2 Bears, 1 Cave17.11.2025 (01:09:07)
SPONSORS: - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears - If you’re 21 or older, get 40% OFF your first order + free shipping @‌IndaCloud with code BEARS at https://inda.shop/BEARS ! #indacloudpod - Head to https://DRINKAG1.com/BEARS to get a FREE Welcome Kit with an AG1 Flavor Sampler and a bottle of Vitamin D3 plus K2, when you first subscribe! - Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears ‌ Tom Segura returns to the cave with the one-and-only Kirk Fox, comedian, actor, and possibly a future Supermax inmate, depending on how you interpret this episode. The two dive into Kirk’s accidental tennis-career-turned-acting path, his eccentric family upbringing (outdoor showers, blood-written memorials, and a grandma in a box), and his lifelong dream of becoming either an FBI profiler or a serial killer — whichever opportunity arrives first. From Waymo self-driving cars acting like drunk Uber drivers to territorial pissings, choke etiquette, BTK, Tommy Lynn Sells, Vince Champ the stand-up sex criminal, and a full breakdown of Supermax prison life, this episode spirals into a darkly hilarious masterclass on murder, consent, and why prison might actually be relaxing if you need more sleep. If the FBI is listening — it’s all jokes. Probably. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 315 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:34 - Tennis Legend Kirk Fox 00:08:40 - Charo Looks Like Bon Jovi 00:11:20 - Kirk’s Home Life 00:17:53 - Golden Showers 00:24:46 - More Killers & AI Sex Robots 00:33:42 - Tommy Lynn Sells & Killing by Train 00:37:43 - The Next Killer in Our Friend Group 00:40:49 - Supermax Prison Fantasy 00:46:29 - My Dad Was A Serial Killer 00:52:38 - Vince Champ: The Sex Crime Comedian 00:58:21 - Kirk’s FBI Dreams & Shamelessness 01:02:22 - Kirk & Tom Check Out Vince Champ's Comedy 01:06:07 - See You In Prison Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Mel Robbins Calls Out Bert’s People-Pleasing | 2 Bears, 1 Cave10.11.2025 (01:59:04)
Tom will be filming his new stand-up special in Milwaukee at The Riverside Theater on November 14th & 15th! Tickets are still available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour . SPONSORS: -Take advantage of Ridge’s Biggest Sale of the Year and GET UP TO 47% Off by going to https://www.Ridge.com/CAVE #Ridgepod -Get $10 Off @‌BRUNT with code CAVE at https://www.bruntworkwear.com/CAVE #BRUNTpod -Give the gift of smooth this holiday season with the Performance Package 5.0 Ultra. Get 15% off + free shipping at https://Manscaped.com with code BEARS. -Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com This week, Bert sits down with the one and only Mel Robbins for a brutally honest, hilarious, and surprisingly deep conversation about anxiety, cheating, parenting, and learning how to “let them.” From wild college confessions to Mel breaking down her Let Them Theory in real time, this episode is half therapy, half comedy, and all chaos. They cover everything — why Bert can’t stop overexplaining to strangers (and accidentally tried to kiss Nicole Kidman), how ADHD and anxiety shaped both of their lives, and why it’s so hard to stop caring what everyone thinks. Mel opens up about her own journey through debt, dysfunction, and discovery — and Bert realizes maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t have to fix everyone to be happy. If you’ve ever felt like you’re juggling guilt, stress, and trying to please everyone — this episode will hit home and crack you up at the same time. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 314 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:46 - What's Your Drink? 00:03:50 - College Chaos & Cheating Confessions 00:13:47 - Nobody Wants To F**k Up Their Life 00:23:12 - FOMO, Stoicism, & The Let Them Theory 00:34:42 - Why We Need to Disappoint People 00:47:55 - Family Guilt & The Dinner Dilemma 00:55:08 - An Awkward Nicole Kidman Kiss & Approval Addiction 01:01:39 - ADHD, Dyslexia, & The Volcano Inside 01:10:44 - What Could Possibly Go Wrong? 01:20:01 - Bert Gets Real 01:31:05 - Wired To Change 01:36:25 - Opportunity Of A Lifetime 01:45:51 - Let Them (And Let Yourself) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Duncan Trussell BLOWS Bert's Mind! | 2 Bears, 1 Cave03.11.2025 (01:18:07)
Tom will be filming his new stand-up special in Milwaukee at The Riverside Theater on November 14th & 15th! Tickets are still available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. SPONSORS: - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get your free quote at https://Ethos.com/BEARS - Get your first month of BlueChew FREE Just use promo code BEARS at checkout and pay five bucks for shippinghttps://bluechew.com - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears - Right now, get our free business guide, Demystifying AI, at https://Netsuite.com/BEARS. - Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. Bert Kreischer celebrates turning 53 the only way he knows how — by spiraling into an existential and hilarious conversation with comedian and cosmic philosopher Duncan Trussell. From tales of Bigfoot and testicular cancer to deep dives on AI, death, main character syndrome, and whether any of us are even real, this episode swings from absurd to profound faster than Bert can take his shirt off. Duncan and Bert talk about everything — mortality, digital immortality, the illusion of self, performative living, and how comedy might be the purest form of chaos magic. Along the way, they share stories about Joe Rogan, Freddy Soto, and the strange spiritual beauty of making people laugh. There’s even a surprisingly thoughtful discussion about funerals, cruises, and the philosophy of “carpe diem.” Bert also reveals the truth about his infamous cruise (yes, the vodka shortage is real), his daughter’s fandom for Duncan, and why thumbnail culture might have “ruined podcasting.” Duncan, meanwhile, breaks Bert’s brain more than once with talk of Roko’s Basilisk, reincarnation, and smiling on the way to the gallows — all while making it sound like the funniest TED Talk you’ve ever heard. If you’ve ever wondered why we laugh at tragedy, why people live like they’re being filmed, or if you might just be an AI simulation of yourself — this is the episode for you. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 313 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:43 - Death Plans & Bigfoot’s Balls 00:03:59 - AI, Immortality & Roko’s Basilisk 00:07:02 - Main Character Syndrome 00:14:54 - Comedy, Therapy & Freddie Soto 00:17:10 - Hail Satan & The Disney Adult Disaster 00:22:46 - Loving Your Fans & Bert’s Cruise of Chaos 00:33:07 - Performative Life & The Polar Plunge Moment 00:41:50 - Are You Really You? Identity, Trauma, & Thumbnail People 00:54:17 - Smiling on the Way to the Gallows 01:03:10 - Cancel Culture, Bunkers & The Human Comedy 01:09:52 - The Weird Miracle Of Being Alive 01:13:43 - Bert Ruined A Photo Op Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Undertaker Goes One-On-One With Tom Segura! | 2 Bears, 1 Cave27.10.2025 (01:10:58)
Tom will be filming his new stand-up special in Milwaukee at The Riverside Theater on November 14th & 15th! Tickets are still available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. SPONSORS: - Get $10 Off at BRUNT with code CAVE at https://www.bruntworkwear.com/CAVE #bruntpod - Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. - Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com This week, Tom Segura sits down with WWE legend Mark Calloway — better known to millions as The Undertaker — for one of the most fascinating and hilarious deep dives ever on 2 Bears 1 Cave. From the grind of early wrestling days to the creation of one of the most iconic characters in sports entertainment, this episode is pure gold for wrestling fans and comedy lovers alike. The Undertaker opens up about his unlikely path from college basketball to the squared circle, the wild meeting with Vince McMahon that birthed his legendary persona, and what it was like to rise through an era dominated by Hulk Hogan and other larger-than-life characters. He and Tom trade road-war stories, comparing the life of a traveling comedian to that of a pro wrestler — the endless travel, the brutal schedule, and the weird adjustment of coming home after months on tour. Mark also reveals behind-the-scenes secrets of WrestleMania, his all-time favorite match with Shawn Michaels, and the brutal injuries (including being set on fire… twice) that came with three decades in the ring. Plus, he shares how he stayed committed to “living the character,” why he always wore black in public, and how he evolved The Undertaker over time to keep the mystique alive. They also discuss wrestling psychology, the art of storytelling in the ring, and the freakish athleticism of stars like Brock Lesnar, Kane, and Roman Reigns. From hilarious stories about stepping on teammates during basketball drills to heartfelt reflections on the fans who grew up with him, The Deadman proves he’s every bit as thoughtful as he is intimidating. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 312 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:09 - Wrestlemania 00:06:36 - I Wanna Be A Wrestler 00:17:17 - The Birth Of The Undertaker 00:31:26 - Injuries & Finding New Roles 00:42:40 - Big Strong Guys 00:47:35 - Shawn Michaels 00:56:17 - Novices 00:59:54 - Stupid Purchases 01:03:25 - Mike Tyson 01:06:57 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Robert DeNiro Didn't Wanna Be Friends w/ Sebastian Maniscalco | 2 Bears, 1 Cave20.10.2025 (01:24:38)
TEXAS! Tom will be in Amarillo at the Amarillo Civic Center Complex on November 1st, then November 2nd in Lubbock at Buddy Holly Hall and El Paso at the Abraham Chavez Theatre on November 6th. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. SPONSORS: - Head to https://DRINKAG1.com/BEARS to get a FREE Welcome Kit, including a bottle of Vitamin D and free AG1 Travel Packs, when you first subscribe! - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Bort sits down with comedy legend Sebastian Maniscalco for one of the funniest, most honest conversations yet. They dive deep into Sebastian’s new stand-up special filmed at the United Center, what it takes to stay passionate about comedy, and how fatherhood changes everything. From crying at movies and parenting philosophies to the “arrogance of boring” and buying boats, this episode is packed with heart, humor, and classic Bert chaos. The two swap stories about old-school comedy days, meeting Jerry Seinfeld and Robert De Niro, and the truth about balancing fame, family, and fun. Tim will return next week...promise. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 311 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:30 - Stand-Up, Sicilians, & Sensitivity 00:14:16 - Dressed To Impress 00:22:27 - Small Talk & Small Comedians 00:34:28 - Playing The Hits 00:39:30 - DeNiro & Casinos 00:46:20 - Wine, Wants, & Life Experiences 00:56:35 - Fun Dad & Discipline Dad 01:03:05 - Pete Correale 01:07:32 - Does Sebastian Do This? 01:16:06 - Married To An Artist 01:19:08 - Edit This Out! + Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Why Ice Cube Stays Mad in Every Movie w/ Funny Marco | 2 Bears, 1 Cave13.10.2025 (01:41:44)
Attention Hanover, MD! Tommy Buns is coming to The Hall At Live! Casino, Sunday, October 19. Get tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: - Upgrade your wallet today! Get 10% Off @Ridge with code CAVE at https://ridge.com/CAVE #ridgepod - Stop overpaying and start saving with Ownwell. Sign up in 3 minutes at https://Ownwell.com/bears - If you’re 21 or older, grab 30% off your first order plus free shipping with code BEARS at https://indacloud.co - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Bert Kreischer sits down with YouTuber and social media personality, Funny Marco for one of the most effortlessly hilarious and unexpectedly deep conversations on 2 Bears, 1 Cave. The two dive into everything from guessing celebrity ages and debating who the sexiest comedian is, to the weird psychology of fame, strip club etiquette, and why Ice Cube has never smiled in a movie. Marco opens up about his viral interviews with Nicki Minaj and Orlando Brown, the surreal side of fame, and what it means to stay grounded when everyone treats you like a brand instead of a person. Bert shares behind-the-scenes stories from The Cabin and The Machine, his friendship with Katt Williams, and what it’s really like when fame takes away your freedom to “just go.” Funny, sharp, and full of quotable moments, this episode swings from gut-busting comedy to surprisingly real talk about authenticity, anxiety, and why being “D-list famous” might be the sweet spot. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 310 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. In New York, call 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369). In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit https://ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (Kansas). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in Illinois. Twenty-one plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://dkng.co/audio. Limited time offer. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:17 - What's My Age Again? 00:14:14 - Interviewing Celebs & Getting A Lambo From Nicki Minaj 00:20:14 - Orlando Brown & Bert's Cabin 00:29:31 - Top Black Comedy Movies 00:40:40 - Fame 00:50:20 - Strip Clubs 00:55:55 - NBA YoungBoy 01:00:25 - The Art Of Not Giving A F 01:05:00 - Animation Domination 01:08:55 - Black Phrases 01:15:25 - Lying 01:19:46 - Chappelle, Kevin Hart, IShowSpeed, & Kai Cenat 01:28:12 - The Entertainment Of Watching People's Lives 01:36:42 - Closing Thoughts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Tom and Bert's Favorite OF Submissions | 2 Bears, 1 Cave06.10.2025 (01:04:58)
Attention Hanover, MD! Tommy Buns is coming to The Hall At Live! Casino, Sunday, October 19. Get tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: - As always, get your first month of BlueChew FREE Just use promo code BEARS at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. https://bluechew.com -Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears - Download the CFO’s Guide to AI and Machine Learning for FREE at https://NetSuite.com/BEARS. This week, Bert and Tom dive headfirst into the weirdest brain rot rabbit holes yet — from testing out VR porn ("you can see her fillings!") to auditioning more OnlyFans submissions, one of which that includes… a unique Por Osos bottle cameo. The Bears also pitch a business idea for a grown-man “locker room,” debate how Bert's woke daughters compare to Tom's redneck sons, and discover the world’s wildest dogs and cats. Plus: Jelly Roll’s 5K transformation, Savannah cats that look like mini-lions, and Bert’s desperate plan to sneak another puppy past Leanne. It’s sex robots, freeze porn, fat-to-fit inspiration, and pet chaos all rolled into one classic 2 Bears, 1 Cave mess. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 309 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:22 - Jimmy Kimmel and Tylenol 00:08:17 - New Interest 00:15:54 - What The Kids Are Into 00:27:48 - The Bears Draft A Prospect 00:38:32 - The Locker Room Experience 00:46:18 - Jelly Roll 00:52:10 - Cane Corso vs. Dogo Argentino vs. Savannah Cat 01:01:14 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Phones Are Making You Unfunny w/ Jimmy Carr | 2 Bears, 1 Cave29.09.2025 (01:16:07)
Attention Hanover, MD! Tommy Buns is coming to The Hall At Live! Casino, Sunday, October 19. Get tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: - Upgrade to ShipStation today to get a sixty-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/cave. - Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS. - Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BEARS! #trueclassicpod This week, Tom Segura is joined by one of the greatest one-liner comedians in the world, Jimmy Carr! Tom and Jimmy dive deep into the craft of comedy, comparing Carr's laser-focused joke construction to Bert Kreischer's chaotic storytelling. Jimmy reveals his controversial (and hilarious) take on marijuana legalization—mandating it for people over 50—and the tragic role of "cheap dopamine" in modern life, from social media to porn. The conversation touches on global comedy culture, the variable reward system that drives stand-up and casinos , and why the live comedy experience is 30 times funnier than watching a special alone. Jimmy Carr also gives his final, wishful prediction for how Bert Kreischer will die. Plus: Why the 21st Century is just the 20th century on better screens, the long wait for GTA 6, Jimmy's hilarious interactions with Stephen Hawking, the importance of gratitude, and why Tom should have read the Quentin Tarantino book. Don't miss a conversation that is smart, insightful, and packed with the sharp, dark wit that only Jimmy Carr can deliver! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 308 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:19 - The Mechanisms Of Reward 00:10:08 - The Spectacular Death Of Burt Kersher 00:15:51 - The Times They Are-A-Changing 00:28:51 - Weed Takes 00:37:22 - The Privilege of Pressure & Boredom 00:43:36 - Beautiful People 00:53:56 - Boinking Bert 00:59:02 - James Bond & GTA 6 01:06:11 - Quentin Tarantino 01:12:47 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
James Gunn's Superheroes Are Flawed But Funny | 2 Bears, 1 Cave22.09.2025 (01:19:34)
SPONSORS: - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears - Upgrade to ShipStation today to get a sixty-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/cave. - If you’re 21+, try VIIA! For 15% off AND a free gift with your first order head to https://viia.co/BEARS and use code BEARS! #viiaparter In this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, James Gunn joins Tom Segura to talk filmmaking and the state of the entertainment industry. Gunn opens up about directing Superman, the pressures behind it, and the relief of its success. He also discusses his role as co-head of DC Studios, building a decade-long DC universe, and the bold choice to reshoot five and a half episodes of Peacemaker with a new Vigilante. Tom and James bond over grounded storytelling, casting decisions, and the balance between comedy, superhero films, and CGI. They also touch on the return of comedies to theaters and how the industry continues to evolve. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 307 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:45 - Peacemaker, El Tigre, & Grounded Aesthetics 00:08:24 - Big Screen Comedy 00:22:04 - Hitting The Creative Lottery With Superman 00:32:59 - The Writing Process & Juggling Big Budgets 00:41:16 - Special FX & Special Actors 00:47:57 - Batman 00:55:53 - Star Wars 01:00:12 - Guardians Of Fun 01:04:11 - Serious Filmmaking & "Ripley" 01:08:36 - Casting Highs & Lows Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Bert Calls His Dead Grandma | 2 Bears, 1 Cave15.09.2025 (01:06:54)
SPONSORS: - Head to https://acorns.com/BEARS or download the Acorns app to get started. - Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BEARS! #trueclassicpod - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. - Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com Hey look, it's your favorite podcast hosts, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer! This week in the cave Bert kicks things off with a brand-new joke he swears is the best thing he’s ever written, before diving into an emotional (and hilarious) story about his late bull mastiff, and the wild twist involving the family dog's long-lost sister. From there, the Bears riff on straight cat dads, Bert’s “sleep divorce,” VR porn addictions, childhood prank calls, and even the lost art of memorizing phone numbers. Bert even calls his dead grandma and chit chats with scam caller live on air. The episode only gets wilder as Tom and Bert review real OnlyFans submissions from fans, debate who should be the first official “2 Bears OF star,” and spiral into some truly insane pitches that only these two maniacs could come up with. Plus: speech impediments, Elmer Fudd racism, trolling stories, gambling breakdowns from NFL Week 1, and Bert trying to recruit Zac Efron into a shirtless golf fantasy with their new NIL athlete. This might just be the best episode of this show in a long ass time, don’t miss it. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 306 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:41 - Dogs & Cats 00:08:59 - VR Corn 00:17:30 - Memorizing Geography 00:23:24 - Memorizing Phone Numbers 00:31:35 - Prank Calls 00:37:59 - We Got Some OF Prospects 00:49:50 - Speech Impediments 00:53:45 - NFL Week 1 Gambling 00:59:51 - Bert Wants To Adopt Athletes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Is White-Face Cool Again? | 2 Bears, 1 Cave08.09.2025 (01:08:07)
SPONSORS: - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. - Don’t let financial opportunity slip through the cracks, get half off your first year with promo code BEARS at https://www.monarchmoney.com/bears - As always, get your first month of BlueChew FREE Just use promo code BEARS at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. https://bluechew.com - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears - Download the CFO’s Guide to AI and Machine Learning at https://NetSuite.com/BEARS. We're sorry, guys! Tom and Bert are back in the cave with a full plate: Druski’s viral NASCAR “whiteface” sketch and the art of deep-cover character work, a big “Would you die for your country?” debate, and discuss why streaming giants (Kai, Adin, Jack, etc.) have completely remixed entertainment. Plus, Tom relives an electric college football weekend (FSU at home against Alabama = goosebumps), Bert admits he tried to move a 400-lb armoire and declared himself top 0.5% strong in the city, and the guys hatch a chaotic million-dollar plan to manage an OnlyFans creator—will it work? Is white-face really back? Is Bert making things up? Watch and find out! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 305 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling problem? Call one eight hundred Gambler. In New York, call eight seven seven eight HOPENY or text HOPENY (four six seven three six nine). In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling. Call eight eight eight seven eight nine seven seven seven seven or visit https://ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (Kansas). Twenty-one plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Fees may apply in Illinois. Void in Ontario. Bonus bets expire seven days after issuance. See https://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. NFL Sunday Ticket offer for new subscribers only and auto-renews until cancelled. Digital games and commercial use excluded. Restrictions apply. Additional NFL Sunday Ticket terms at https://youtube.com/go/nflsundayticket/terms. Limited time offer. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:30 - Druski Doing White Face 00:10:54 - Streamers Ruined The Military 00:17:32 - Would You Die For Our Country? 00:26:25 - Kam Patterson 00:33:20 - Another Tour 00:38:25 - College Football Weekend 00:49:42 - Let's Become OF Boosters 00:59:17 - Bert's Fight With LeeAnn 01:05:28 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Gambling With Our Lives | 2 Bears, 1 Cave01.09.2025 (01:07:26)
SPONSORS: - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS - Upgrade to ShipStation today to get a sixty-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/cave Bert and Tom are BACK in the Cave! After a memorable summer takeover by Stavvy and Chrissy D, the OG Bears return to catch up on everything—movies, standup, gambling, insane diets, and why Bert can’t stop eating 10 egg bites at once. Tom opens up about his recent cancer-screening scare, which led to a brutal five-day water fast, and accidentally dropping 25 pounds while filming El Tigre. Bert shares why his watch doesn’t fit anymore, how he tormented his director by throwing Liquid Death cans at 4 AM, and the disgusting way he measures his weight. The Bears also dive into the future of late-night TV, Amy Poehler’s move into podcasting, their own TV and film projects, and Bert’s insane plan to bet $1,000 every week on the Bucs. Plus: family visits on set, Isla living like a diva in Bert’s trailer, Tom’s boys discovering fake cocaine, and both Bears gearing up for the upcoming NFL and NCAA football seasons! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 304 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling problem? Call one eight hundred Gambler. In New York, call 8778HOPENY or text HOPENY (four six seven three six nine). In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling. Call eight eight eight seven eight nine seven seven seven seven or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (Kansas). Fees may apply in IL. Twenty-one plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Bonus bets expire seven days after issuance. See sportsbook dot draftkings.com/promos. NFL Sunday Ticket offer for new subscribers only and auto-renews until cancelled. Digital games and commercial use excluded. Restrictions apply. Additional NFL Sunday Ticket terms at https://youtube.com/go/nflsundayticket/terms . Limited time offer. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:07 - The Final Episode Of 2 Bears 00:09:36 - Tom's New Movie & Free Bert 00:21:47 - Why Tom Got So Skinny 00:33:23 - Bert Is Fat 00:42:04 - Family Visits + America's Team 00:45:48 - Bert's Big Bet 00:54:05 - Is Tom Down? 00:58:49 - A Bert Game Show? 01:01:45 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Summer Bears Phone It In w/ Stavros Halkias & Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave25.08.2025 (01:07:33)
Stavros Halkias Tickets: http://stavvy.biz/tour Chris Distefano Tickets: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/tickets SPONSORS: - Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. - Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com The Summer Bears’ reign has unfortunately come to an end! Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for their last fill-in as hosts of 2 Bears 1 Cave, and they’re going out with a bang. From roasting Tom and Bert’s absence to spiraling into wild tangents about parenting, moving, sex robots, and pie diplomacy with the NYPD, this send-off is chaotic, hilarious, and the perfect finale. Stavvy and Chrissy talk about the shock of how much fans loved their takeover, whether they’d ever come back as the Fall Bears, and even get Bert on the phone. Tom of course doesn’t pick up. But that's okay, because Mark Normand and Sam Morril crash the party near the end, bringing eclairs and stomach bugs to help close things out. It’s been a wild six weeks, and the Summer Bears want to leave you with one last memory. You're welcome, f*ckers! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 303 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:01 - The Summer Bears' Last Dance 00:10:10 - Stoic Shit + Jump Scare Ad Break 00:17:14 - Moving Around & Finding Peace 00:24:12 - Bribing Cops With Pie & Being Addicted To Losing 00:33:06 - ChatGPT Sex Robots 00:41:26 - Swingers & Phoning It In With Bert 00:55:22 - Mark Normand & Sam Morril Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Audience Is Gonna Hate Us w/ Stavros Halkias & Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave18.08.2025 (01:15:43)
Stavros Halkias Tickets: http://stavvy.biz/tour Chris Distefano Tickets: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/tickets SPONSORS: Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. If you’re 21+, try VIIA! For 15% off AND a free gift with your first order head to https://viia.co/BEARS and use code BEARS! #viiaparter Head to https://acorns.com/BEARS or download the Acorns app to get started. Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for another sugar-fueled Summer Bears meltdown—this time with bagels, tiramisu, and enough food guilt to keep a Catholic therapist booked for years. The boys break down Chris’ ChatGPT pep talk, reminisce about Stavvy's golden toothless years, and spiral into a deep dive on Neapolitan ice cream fraud, gay NFL cheerleaders, and the politics of bagel orders. Also: Chris reveals his VO2 Max results from a flamboyant fitness coach who may or may not have called him “zaddy.” 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 302 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:00 - 2 Pigs, 1 Pen 00:12:45 - Catholic Guilt Vs Greek Shame 00:23:33 - Sexual Awakenings In Mom's Bed 00:30:31 - A Demeaning Offer & ChatGPT Pep Talk 00:43:50 - Social Media & Rage For The Gays 00:52:01 - Men In Women's Sports 01:00:02 - Zaddy Chris Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
2 Bears, 1 Happy Ending w/ Stavros Halkias & Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave11.08.2025 (01:11:01)
SPONSORS: - Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BEARS! #trueclassicpod - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS The Summer Bears are back and Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias are fully locked into their takeover of 2 Bears 1 Cave. With Stav in a floral shirt and Chris squeezed into a Darryl Strawberry jersey, the two dive headfirst into tales of the wild ‘86 Mets, Kevin Spacey offering unsolicited shoulder rubs, and the horrifying science of ALS—because what’s funnier than degenerative nerve disease? Stavvy also gets a massage from Chrissy, we learn about Lenny Dykstra's podcast rates, and the guys debate polyamory, prostitutes, and just how many years Bert Kreischer has left. Speaking of Bert, he sends the guys a morbid video asking them to predict which comedian friends are not long for this world. Plus, Stav makes a strong case for becoming a Japanese-style husband, Chris recounts a near-affair that lasted 12 seconds on the LIRR, and together they fantasize about future threesomes with suspiciously supportive fans. Is it a good episode? No. Is it packed with fake current events, conspiracy theories, open marriages, and physical touch? You bet your bottom dollar it is. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 301 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:42 - Baseball Greats, Kevin Spacey, & ALS 00:10:31 - Reading Fan Comments 00:27:20 - Swingers, Cucks, & Flirty Fans 00:36:33 - Montreal Screwjobs & Polyamory Shenanigans 00:44:58 - Trisha Paytas Baby Theory 00:51:34 - Comedian Death Pool 01:00:49 - Chrissy Massages Stavvy 01:07:23 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Are We Trapped In This Podcast Forever? w/ Stavros Halkias & Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave04.08.2025 (01:11:17)
Become a paid channel member of YMH to get 2 Bears, 1 Cave episodes one day early and AD-FREE here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYIgiXwJck_Pb5Nj-wIrsqg/join SPONSORS: -Get control of your overall finances with Monarch Money. Use code BEARS at http://monarchmoney.com for half off your first year -Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears -Go to https://bluechew.com to get your first month of BlueChew FREE! Just use promo code BEARS at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. -If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, download the free e-book “Navigating Global Trade: 3 Insights for Leaders” at https://NetSuite.com/BEARS . The Summer Bears are back and sweatier than ever as Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return to the Cave for a milestone 300th episode that somehow combines deep psychological trauma, ass-eating, and cholesterol awareness in one glorious mess. Chrissy D reveals his shocking bedtime history with his mom, his late-night transition out of her bed, and how a surprise with a tongue changed the trajectory of his life—and his act. Stav explains how a 3XL shirt, childhood grilled cheese binges, and SNL reruns turned him into the hairy Greek sex symbol we know today. The bears also dive into the state of late night TV (RIP), Jurassic Park boners, and why Bert and Tom might end up bankrupt with nothing but podcast houses and Uncrustables to their name. Plus, an unhinged Monarch Money ad read, BlueChew boners, Turkish military anal policies, and a heartfelt video message from Tom Segura himself. Are the Summer Bears destined to do this foever? Stay tuned! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 300 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:58 - Big Boy Shirts 00:10:15 - Tongue Punch Your Fartbox 00:19:21 - How Did This All Happen? 00:23:48 - Sleeping In Mom's Bed 00:37:17 - Stavvy's Hangups & Chrissy Late Night 00:48:27 - Bowel Movements & Old Sitcoms 00:54:39 - Stav & Chrissy's Movie Corner 01:00:47 - New Jurassic Park 01:05:01 - A Message From Tom Segura Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This Episode Is Getting Us Fired w/ Stavros Halkias & Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave28.07.2025 (01:08:16)
Check out our new summer merch at https://store.ymhstudios.com/ SPONSORS: - Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano are back for round two of Summer Bears—and things spiral immediately. Dressed in their finest “Queens County court appearance” outfits, the guys dive into tales of impersonating cops, awkward court appearances, and Chris’s brief career as a physical therapist (and even briefer run-in with medical malpractice). The bears get uncomfortably honest about massages that went too far, AI-generated thirst traps, and whether or not Bert and Tom make smashable women. Plus: Stav drops knowledge about Benjamin Franklin’s revolutionary sexcapades, Chris reflects on losing MSG (but gaining perspective), and both dudes debate the pros and cons of fake tits, handy wives, and aging out of horniness. It’s unhinged, unfiltered, and definitely leading to the hosts getting fired. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 299 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:08 - Chrissy Court Date 00:06:15 - From Physical Therapy To Comedy 00:18:25 - Happy Ending 00:28:45 - Lady Tom & Bert 00:34:32 - Female Stavvy & Chrissy 00:43:55 - Handy Women & Unhandy Men 00:53:07 - Benjamin Franklin 00:58:32 - MSG 01:03:36 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Summer Bears Takeover! w/ Stavros Halkias & Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave21.07.2025 (01:14:07)
Check out our new summer merch at https://store.ymhstudios.com/ SPONSORS: - Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BEARS! #trueclassicpod - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears Tom and Bert are out for the summer, so Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias are stepping in as your substitute Bears. In this unhinged takeover, they immediately derail the show with tales of cholesterol-fueled delusion, Nazi neighbors in Queens, circumcision conspiracies, radical acceptance, berberine powder, and why 4th of July is the real American holiday (sorry January 6). The boys debate who’s the Bert and who’s the Tom in their pairing, accidentally rank the world’s races, and somehow end up talking about diabetes, Greek shame, and Japanese war crimes—all before diving into engagement stories, dad stress, and the magic of getting fat on purpose. Also, Bert checks in from his deathbed to interrupt and tells them to talk about Indian people. This episode is chaos in shorts. True summer vibes. No lessons, no structure—just greasy hot dogs, high blood pressure, and fat guy fun. It's going to be a wild summer! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 298 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:00 - Who's The Tom & Who's The Bert? 00:08:23 - The Gay Family Man 00:13:56 - Bert's Request 00:21:43 - My War Criminal Neighbor 00:27:19 - Epstein Lists, Toothless Looks, & Fat Guy Speedballs 00:34:49 - We're Just Slowly Dying 00:45:19 - Fourth Of July 00:53:33 - Radical Acceptance 00:58:53 - Chrissy D's Favorite Holiday 01:05:11 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Catfights Make The WNBA Interesting | 2 Bears, 1 Cave14.07.2025 (01:14:00)
SPONSORS: - Start your free online visit today at https://Hims.com/BEARS. - Go to https://quince.com/bears for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. - Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/bears! #squarepod - Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer go deep on sports. They talk about Brett Favre's fall from grace, the greatness of the 2001 Baltimore Ravens, the unbeatable aura of Tony Siragusa, and the dynamic duo of Caitlin Clark and Sophie Cunningham. Before that, Bert shares some stories about going over to T-Pains house. The bears also discuss how violence has made the WNBA more watchable, how good the ESPN "30 For 30" documentaries are, and the most unbelievable races people participate in. Plus: Bert tells a story about how he almost chainsawed a leg off on skates, the Red Bull Flutag, rat catchers, Bert's chicken murder mystery, and more! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 297 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:17 - T-Pain 00:10:08 - Brett Favre: Hero Or Villain? 00:19:15 - Tony Siragusa & The 2001 Baltimore Ravens 00:30:38 - Caitlin Clark & Sophie Cunningham 00:37:58 - Bert Almost Lost A Leg Skating 00:42:28 - Red Bull Flutag 00:49:23 - The Most Insane Race 00:57:11 - Rat Collectors 01:05:54 - Chicken Murder Mystery 01:11:02 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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