Welcome to All My Maidens, an Elden Ring lore podcast. Have you ever played 100 hours of Elden Ring and then thought, wow. I have no idea what the heck this game is about? Well, join award winning game writer Aysha U. Farah as she invites various friends and confidants to come on and Explain Elden Ring to her. What is an Elden Ring, anyway? What makes it elden? Who are the Tarnished? Why do a bunch of guys have weird horns on their faces? Who is that dude made of roots? Answer all these questions and more, right here!
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We're finally breaking out of our Fromsoft cell, starting with Larian's monstrous masterpiece, Baldur's Gate 3. Aysha is joined by Brian from the Worst of All Possible Worlds for a conversation where we can't stay on track to save our lives. Topics include: all the different things you can fuck, Hot Gollum, putting musical numbers in everything, Alan Wake corner, and leaving on Astarion on the beach for several weeks.
Episode 14 - Radahn (01:23:47)
Aysha and Miles are joined by actor Sam Oguma , to discuss the motherfuckin' starboy himself: Radahn. Topics include: being well-endowed with horse, dragon corner, Sam's audio (sorry, blame windows 11) re-litigating the Allegations, and OOPS! elden ring is cancelled, please call your pastor to ban elden ring on steam.
BONUS EPISODE - Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice (00:05:01)
THIS IS A PREVIEW! Get the full episode on our patreon!
Aysha and Miles are joined by James Wright, writer of games and comics, to talk about Sekiro, the (in one host's opinion) best action game ever made. Topics include: getting good, why Sekiro is a rhythm game, annoying all your coworkers by only wanting to talk about Fromsoft games, foxy grandpas, and being a guy who is full of bugs.
Episode 13 - Rogier (00:58:11)
This episode Aysha sits down with her Worker's Lit cohost Jacob to discuss everybody's favorite Niceboy Twink Wizard: Sorcerer Rogier. Topics include: gay stuff (positive), gay stuff (negative), Fia's eboys reprise, dying of the death disease, possible alternate boyfriends for Rogier, and exciting new Elden Ring merch ideas.
Episode 12 - Godfrey (01:13:09)
Aysha and Miles are joined once again by Kevin Vibert of The Penumbra Podcast to talk about our top lion boy. Topics include: exclusive Lands Between vape flavors, the pussy that makes you normal, Fromsoft cutscenes, and the number 1 question: is the Greater Will white people? Discuss.
We have a patreon!!
BONUS EPISODE - Bloodborne (00:01:13)
THIS IS A PREVIEW - Get the full episode on Patreon.
Happy Halloween, Maidens! Welcome to All my Maidens' first ever bonus episode. Aysha is joined by Jonny Sims of the Magnus Archives to answer the age old question, what IS blood, anyway? Topics include: eyes on the inside, the fine art of Making it Weirder, women and what is even up with them, the masculine urge to become the void's special boy, and Jonny's new character: the Spooky Man.
Episode 11 - Latenna (00:55:37)
Wolf girl hours! Aysha and Miles discuss Latenna, a hot chick with no feet. Topics include: the cum-adjacent quality to silver blood, frog men, Silksong corner, dogs as collaborators, and whatever the fuck is going on with Rykard's whole torture dungeon.
Episode 10 - Malenia (01:19:18)
This week we're diving into the goddess of rot herself, Malenia, Blade of Miquella. Aysha and Miles are joined by Lenore of the Socialist Shelf and AJ of The Worst of All Possible Worlds, two returning champions. Topics include: getting your shit rocked by a naked woman with no arms, eating ass, Miquella's Whole Thing, Aysha's Philosophy Corner, and Fromsoft's persistent themes of flow vs. stagnation.
Episode 9 - Hyetta (01:05:09)
This week Aysha is joined once again by Jacob from the Socialist Shelf to discuss everybody's favorite eyeball eater, Lightseeker Hyetta. Topics include: the shadow realm, the benefits of three fingers as opposed to two fingers, Elden Greg's sexuality, and an needlessly long rant about Steven Moffat.
Episode 8 - Siofra River Well (01:35:11)
This week we're talking about a place, rather than a person! Aysha is joined by Brian from the Worst of All Possible Worlds podcast, to discuss the Siofra River Well. Topics include: immersive theatre corner, baldur's gate corner, trying desperately to stay on topic corner, the current censorship apocalypse, and Blaidd's clicker training.
Episode 7 - Rykard (01:12:10)
Aysha and Miles are joined by prolific writer and podcaster Austin Walker to discuss everyone's favorite volcano god/man, Rykard. Topics include: the snake finale we could have had, the value of fucking off to hang with the boys, everybody being related to everyone, and Miles' theory of Character Feet.
Episode 6 - Ranni (01:18:34)
Aysha and Miles are joined by game director Jonathan Stauder, to discuss everyone's favorite waifu, Ranni the Witch. Topics include: the value of missable content, ending cutscenes, the gamer sexism vortex, and murdering a bunch of guys so you don't have to marry your brother.
Episode 5 - Fromsoft (01:03:37)
*SPOILER WARNING* we talk very generally about Nightreign bosses from about 28:00-32:00, just in case you want to skip that.
Hello, Maidens! We've got something slightly different for you this week. Aysha talks to Mike and Manda, co-hosts of the Virtual Economy podcast, focusing on the business end of Elden Ring. Topics include: Elden Ring's critical reception, Fromsoft shooters and Fromsoft haters, Nightreign and the importance of taking risks in game dev, and feet.
Episode 4 - Godwyn (01:09:25)
This week, Aysha is joined by her friends Miles and Merritt K to discuss the one true golden boy: Godwyn, lord of death. Topics include: "communing" with dragons, turning into a big scaly mushroom man, Godwyn's extensive polycule, that one guy named Devin, and our favorite deadbeat adventurer, Sir Clambrose.
Episode 3 - Marika | Radagon (00:56:35)
Aysha is joined by writer Arden Ripley and animator Jenn Doyle as we break down the character with arguably the Most Gender of All Time: Marika. Topics include going boymode for political reasons, the grotesque beauty of From's character design, our ongoing inability to remember anyone's name, and the age old question: what came first, the jar or the meat?
Episode 2 - Varré (00:56:42)
This week, Aysha talks to Jacob and Lenore of the Socialist Shelf Podcast, about our favorite first guy you meet in a game who calls you bitchless right off the bat.
Topics include the dolls, the surgeons, all the gay drama in Elden Ring, and our inability to pronounce the name "Mohg" in any consistent way.
Episode 1 - The Tarnished (01:05:14)
Welcome to the Lands Between! In this first episode, Aysha talks to AJ from the Worst of All Possible Worlds and Kevin from The Penumbra Podcast about the first thing you see in Elden Ring - the opening movie. Topics include: the meaning of Elden, who the Tarnished even are, Godwyn's huge face, Mohg beating the allegations, and the hawk tuah girl, for some reason.
Cover art by J. R. Doyle
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