You’ve built everyone else’s dreams. Now it’s time to build yours.
This podcast is for quiet achievers, eldest daughters, and women who’ve always put others first. Hosted by Jennifer Ho, an introverted eldest daughter of Vietnamese immigrants, each episode uncovers the courage and changes required to get you past playing small, keeping quiet, and hiding. Your dream life is waiting on the other side of the scary sh*t you’ve been avoiding.
And guess what? On the other side of fear, you get to say “and I didn’t die.”
(Formerly Ask an Introvert. Same host, new name!)
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voice note #1: stillness feels unsafe, boredom feels like a threat (00:10:00)
In this first voice note, I share how doomscrolling until 3 a.m. was a tough reminder on the importance of stillness and boredom.I normally enjoy calm and quiet, but the more helpless and hopeless I feel, the more my autopilot brain would rather distract and stimulate itself than to sit still with the discomfort. If you’ve also been reaching for distractions you don’t even like, maybe it’s time to pause, reflect, and make a change.--Voice notes is a miniseries within the And Didn't Die podcast.I'm treating these like actual voice notes I would send to a friend during the messy moments of life from brain dumping and unexpected realizations to gentle reminders and pep talks. --Interested in working together? Book a free discovery call for coaching at byjenniferho.com/discovery
6. I traveled to the desert to meet an Internet friend (00:12:52)
Making new friends as an adult can feel risky, emotionally and physically. What if it’s awkward? What if you don’t click? What if they kidnap you in the desert?But also what if it all goes right? In this episode, I share the story of visiting my friend Reiko, someone I’d only ever seen on Zoom, and what it taught me about receiving care, hospitality, and friendship without feeling like I had to “earn it.”If you’ve ever found it easier to give than to receive… if you struggle to let people show up for you… if you're craving deeper friendships but scared of being a burden… this one’s for you ♥️I’d love to hear your version of this story. Leave a comment or send me a DM on Instagram / LinkedIn.--Interested in working together? Book a free discovery call for coaching at byjenniferho.com/discovery–Topics: making friends as an adult, making friends as an introvert, internet friends, receiving, emotional labor, self-leadership, adult friendship, loneliness, introverts, community, eldest daughters, vulnerability, taking the first step, letting people show up for you
5. I used an app to get dinner with 5 strangers on a Wednesday night (00:19:06)
Making new friends as an adult can feel awkward, intimidating, and sometimes downright impossible. But it doesn't have to be.In this episode, I share how I used my own framework to make friends as an introvert, my mind drama along the way, and how having dinner with 5 strangers on a Wednesday night worked out. I talk about choosing friendship instead of waiting to be chosen, and how to keep the process light and fun for yourself.If you’ve been feeling lonely lately or telling yourself “making friends is too hard now,” and you don’t know if it’s possible to make friends as an adult, this one’s for you ♥️I’d love to hear your version of this story. Leave a comment or send me a DM on Instagram / LinkedIn.--Interested in working together? Book a free discovery call for coaching at byjenniferho.com/discovery–Topics: adult friendship, loneliness, introverts, community, eldest daughters, vulnerability, taking the first step, making friends as an adult, making friends as an introvert, self-leadership
Bonus. The valedictorian speech I talk about in episode 3 (00:07:25)
This is as straightforward as it gets. You asked for the speech, and here it is! With some unscripted commentary ;)Ahh this is literally from the archives of my life since I wrote and delivered it like 15 years ago. As always, I’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment or send me a DM on Instagram / LinkedIn.
4. I told my mom to get help from a therapist instead of me (00:13:32)
I was elbow deep in Dungeness crab, and I hadn’t planned to say it, but I did. I told my mom to seek the help of a therapist instead of venting to me. And thankfully, none of my worst fears came true. In this episode, I share what led to that scary moment that stresses me out just thinking about it and what happened after. I reflect on the unspoken emotional labor in immigrant families, and how we get to shape our relationships with our parents as adult children.If you’ve ever wanted to set a boundary with your parents but were worried it would break the relationship, this one’s for you ♥️I’d love to hear your version of this story. Leave a comment or send me a DM on Instagram / LinkedIn.--Interested in working together? Book a free discovery call for coaching at byjenniferho.com/discovery--Topics: emotional labor, mental health, eldest daughters, immigrant families, boundaries, mother-daughter relationships, therapy stigma, AAPI, AANHPI, self-leadership, adult children, family dynamics
3. I sarcastically named my valedictorian speech "Fortune Cookie" (00:15:31)
I thought becoming valedictorian would feel like a win. Instead, it felt like a quiet defeat, involving an unchosen rivalry with a white boy, a speech I didn’t want to give, and an achievement that created some of the loneliness moments of my life.In this episode, I revisit a chapter of my life where I did “everything right” on paper, but still felt invisible. I reflect a bit the model minority myth, and I finally share what I was too scared to say back then: I wasn’t proud.If you’ve ever followed the rules only to end up feeling confused about unfair outcomes, this one’s for you ♥️I’d love to hear your version of a "Fortune Cookie" story! Leave a comment or send me a DM on Instagram / LinkedIn.--Topics: valedictorian, arbitrary rules, model minority myth, Asian American identity, eldest daughters, academic pressure, invisibility, unchosen rivalry, family dynamics, immigrant culture, AAPI, AANHPI
2. I resented my sister over a set of highlighters (00:16:55)
What starts as a story about missing highlighters quickly unfolds into something deeper... resentment, family dynamics, and the invisible pressure of being the eldest daughterIn this episode, I revisit a childhood moment that left me confused, silenced, and questioning right and wrong. I unpack how resentment shows up, why it’s often misunderstood, and what it actually has to teach us. If you’ve ever held back your voice to keep the peace, or felt guilty just for having "bad" feelings, this one’s for you ♥️I'd love to hear your version of a highlighter story! Leave a comment or send me a DM on Instagram / LinkedIn.--Topics: eldest daughter, resentment, family dynamics, asian mom, self-leadership, being seen, big feelings, eldest daughters, AAPI, AANHPI
1. I rebranded my podcast, and I didn't die (00:09:56)
After two years of Ask an Introvert, I did something that scared the sh*t out of me... I rebranded the podcast.In this episode, I take you behind the scenes of why I changed the name and how and I didn’t die reflects the version of me I’m becoming. I share what I was afraid of (like saying the wrong thing, outgrowing an identity, and disappointing loyal listeners), what shifted in me, and what’s coming next.If you’ve ever felt like evolving means you’re “quitting” or “running away,” this one’s for you ♥️Let me know what you think of the rebrand! I'd love it if you sent me a DM on Instagram or LinkedIn.--Topics: identity shifts, rebranding, self-leadership, podcast growth, creating from your whole self, being seen, fear of change, eldest daughters, AAPI, AANHPI
31. Vision Board Into Action (00:11:31)
The chaos and uncertainty of the outside world is impacting my mental clarity and productivity. What's keeping me rooted in a life I love is my latest vision board.In this episode, I share personal examples from my vision board and share scientific insights on why vision boards work. I also invite you to my upcoming workshop :)--Join us at the Vision Board Into Action Workshop: https://lu.ma/r6jcx7xn--(00:20) The Chaos and Brain Fog of Modern Life(02:08) Creating Vision Board That Works for Me(05:49) The Science Behind Vision Boards(09:07) Vision Board Into Action Workshop Details--Contribute to the "advice column vibes" and make your ask at https://byjenniferho.com/askanintrovertCurious about Take Root into Self Leadership? Book your discovery call at https://calendly.com/byjenniferho/discovery-call--Find Jennifer on: Instagram: @byjenniferho LinkedIn: Jennifer Ho Website: byjenniferho.com
30. What I Learned About Myself By Celebrating BIG (Birthday Party Part 2) (00:24:16)
Spilling the tea on my luxurious birthday celebration held at a chef's home in San Francisco. I share what I was anxious about leading up to the event, how it went, and how I felt and feel now that it’s all over.
And of course how I made it more me and made it quintessentially Jennifer :)
(00:34) What I Was Actually Afraid Of
(04:30) The Week Leading Up to the Party
(08:50) The Big Day and My Big Mistake
(21:20) Post-Party Emotional Crash
(23:04) Dream Bigger and Be Relentless
--
🎥 Highlight Reel 1 | Highlight Reel 2 👀
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Contribute to the "advice column vibes" and make your ask at https://byjenniferho.com/askanintrovert
Curious about Take Root into Self Leadership? Book your discovery call at https://calendly.com/byjenniferho/discovery-call
--
Find Jennifer on:
Instagram: @byjenniferho
LinkedIn: Jennifer Ho
Website: byjenniferho.com
29. When Celebrating Yourself Feels Cringe (Birthday Party Part 1) (00:25:21)
Sharing my experience with planning an audacious birthday celebration for myself. My goal was to be bolder and grow my comfort zone in how I practice self-celebration.
I put myself through a ton of mental gymnastics and practiced self-coaching and leadership to be able to claim what I wanted and to celebrate this way.
(00:26) The Concept of “JENNuary”
(01:41) Planning the Celebration
(03:23) Overcoming Mental Gymnastics
(05:31) Finding the Perfect Setting
(10:59) Finalizing the Guest List
(20:36) Reflection on Self-Celebration
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Contribute to the "advice column vibes" and make your ask at https://byjenniferho.com/askanintrovert
Curious about Take Root into Self Leadership? Book your discovery call at https://calendly.com/byjenniferho/discovery-call
--
Find Jennifer on:
Instagram: @byjenniferho
LinkedIn: Jennifer Ho
Website: byjenniferho.com
28. Candid Self Love (00:29:19)
In this episode, I play the Self Love version of the We’re Not Really Strangers game in real time, exploring past, present, and future versions of myself.
Reflecting candidly and openly, I share insights on and stories about my journey of self love and cultivating my dream life to set the stage for the new year.
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Contribute to the "advice column vibes" and make your ask at https://byjenniferho.com/askanintrovert
Curious about Take Root into Self Leadership? Book your discovery call at https://calendly.com/byjenniferho/discovery-call
--
Find Jennifer on:
Instagram: @byjenniferho
LinkedIn: Jennifer Ho
Website: byjenniferho.com
27. Dating is a Mindf*ck: How Can I Trust Myself? (00:29:12)
I recently re-entered the dating world, and it is a total mindf*ck, in the worst way. Self leadership has helped me stay aligned with my intentions and continue to trust myself on this journey.
November marked the first chapter of my return to dating, and in this episode, I share my personal experiences including considering a casual “relationship.”
(01:25) Navigating Modern Dating Norms and Unspoken Rules
(03:31) First Steps and Manifestations
(05:19) Initial Connections: Sacramento Guy, San Jose Guy, Kpop Guy
(12:25) I Seriously Considered Casual
(17:50) Reflections and Lessons Learned for a Kind and Gentle Return to Dating
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Schedule your free 30-min Self Leadership coaching call at https://calendly.com/byjenniferho/office-hours
Contribute to the "advice column vibes" and make your ask at https://byjenniferho.com/askanintrovert
Curious about Take Root into Self Leadership? Book your discovery call at https://calendly.com/byjenniferho/discovery-call
--
Find Jennifer on:
Instagram: @byjenniferho
LinkedIn: Jennifer Ho
Website: byjenniferho.com
26. Dating is a Mindf*ck: How to Manage Your Energy as an Introvert Looking for Love (00:23:27)
I recently re-entered the dating world, and it is a total mindf*ck, in the worst way. Self leadership has helped me set boundaries and personal standards to manage my energy as I navigate online dating.
Tune in for practical advice and mindset tools for intentional introverts looking for love (or tea lol).
(00:17) My Personal Journey and Dating Insights
(03:53) Embracing Self-Leadership
(06:38) Navigating Online Dating aka Online Screening
(10:59) Managing Energy and Setting Boundaries
(21:57) Celebrating Self-Trust in Dating
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Schedule your free 30-min Self Leadership coaching call at https://calendly.com/byjenniferho/office-hours
Contribute to the "advice column vibes" and make your ask at https://byjenniferho.com/askanintrovert
Curious about working together? Book your discovery call at https://calendly.com/byjenniferho/discovery-call
--
Find Jennifer on:
Instagram: @byjenniferho
LinkedIn: Jennifer Ho
Website: byjenniferho.com
25. What to Do When You Aren't Meeting Your Goals (00:25:10)
Join me as I practice self-leadership and honestly reflect on my progress towards my 2024 goal of producing 24 podcast episodes. Despite feeling pessimistic and overwhelmed by this goal, I navigated through all the muck in my brain, revisited my original intentions, and developed a three-step approach for dealing with unmet goals.
(00:15) Reflecting on 2024 Goals
(00:38) Facing the Reality of Unmet Goals
(01:51) Embracing Honest Reflection
(04:36) Exploring Alternative Approaches
(06:57) Confronting Internal Struggles
(12:11) Analyzing Past Efforts
(22:16) Steps to Overcome Unmet Goals
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Schedule your free 30-min Self Leadership coaching call at https://calendly.com/byjenniferho/office-hours
Contribute to the "advice column vibes" and make your ask at https://byjenniferho.com/askanintrovert
Curious about working together? Book your discovery call at https://calendly.com/byjenniferho/discovery-call
--
Find Jennifer on:
Instagram: @byjenniferho
LinkedIn: Jennifer Ho
Website: byjenniferho.com
24. Finding Freedom in Funemployment | Catching Up in Public (00:19:35)
Look back on my "funemployment" period between jobs with me. Back in June, I took two weeks off after leaving a heavy work environment.
I answer community questions about my approach, sharing insights from my break, how I managed finances, and what I did to prepare for a new work environment.
(00:56) Defining Funemployment for Me
(02:00) Navigating Social Dynamics
(04:41) The Joy of Unstructured Days
(05:31) Activities I Found Rejuvenating
(09:21) Finances for Unpaid Time Off
(12:46) Preparing for a New Job
(16:18) The Importance of Taking Breaks Between Jobs
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Schedule your free 30-min Self Leadership coaching call at https://calendly.com/byjenniferho/office-hours
Contribute to the "advice column vibes" and make your ask at https://byjenniferho.com/askanintrovert
Curious about working together? Book your discovery call at https://calendly.com/byjenniferho/discovery-call
--
Find Jennifer on:
Instagram: @byjenniferho
LinkedIn: Jennifer Ho
Website: byjenniferho.com
23. I Have Always Been a Third Wheel (00:21:55)
I explore the dynamics of being a 'third wheel,' especially for introverts. To navigate feeling left out, I share about reframing your role from being an “extra” and offer advice for both single individuals and couples on nurturing inclusive friendships, emphasizing open communication and self-awareness. No one’s relationship status defines or undermines their worth.
(00:34) The Third Wheel Dilemma
(02:39) Struggling with Singledom
(06:16) Navigating Friendships as a Third Wheel or the “Extra” of the Group
(11:23) The Funniest Group Photo
(14:36) Creating Inclusive Environments
(19:06) Getting Uncomfortable to Make the Effort As a Good Friend
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Schedule your free 30-min Self Leadership coaching call at https://calendly.com/byjenniferho/office-hours
Contribute to the "advice column vibes" and make your ask at https://byjenniferho.com/askanintrovert
Curious about working together? Book your discovery call at https://calendly.com/byjenniferho/discovery-call
--
Find Jennifer on:
Instagram: @byjenniferho
LinkedIn: Jennifer Ho
Website: byjenniferho.com
22. My Reasons for Intentional Living (00:19:17)
I took this chance to defy my Capricorn tendency of having conversations in my head by truly going off-the-cuff and yapping away about my evolution since 2021.
I’ll read from an old journal entry and comment on the 5 reasons I adopted for living an intentional life, and share how community, self-celebration, and embracing myself has led to my dream life.
(00:00) Overriding My Capricorn Tendency
(00:51) Basking in Introspection
(02:20) Hiring a Cleaner: A New Perspective
(03:22) Reflecting on Personal Growth
(04:22) My Five Reasons for Intentional Living
(07:44) Becoming a Public Introvert
(13:02) Celebrating Wins
(15:16) My Dad's Big News
(17:28) The Power of Sharing Our Stories
(18:49) You Get to Ask An Introvert
--
Book your discovery call at https://calendly.com/byjenniferho/discovery-call
Contribute to the "advice column vibes" and make your ask at https://byjenniferho.com/askanintrovert
--
Find Jennifer on:
Instagram: @byjenniferho
LinkedIn: Jennifer Ho
Website: byjenniferho.com
21. Job Search Seriousness - Landing a Job in a Week | Catching Up in Public (00:28:20)
People are still asking me about my new job and how I got it, so I sat down to record this once and for all.
I'm breaking down my one week-ish job search back in May.
Most of this is not going to be tactical advice because where I put my focus had less to do with tactics and more to do with my mindset and energy - energy as in my presence and how I show up, not as in source of power or the capacity to do things.
(00:55) Mindset Over Tactics: The Key to My Job Search
(02:07) Why I Decided to Change Jobs
(04:23) Staying Prepared: Regular Resume Updates and Applications
(07:27) Visualizing the Ideal Job
(19:48) Navigating Networks, Job Interviews and Negotiations
(23:46) My One-Week Job Search
--
Book your discovery call at https://calendly.com/byjenniferho/discovery-call
Contribute to the "advice column vibes" and make your ask at https://byjenniferho.com/askanintrovert
--
Find Jennifer on:
Instagram: @byjenniferho
LinkedIn: Jennifer Ho
Website: byjenniferho.com
20. From Discomfort to Decisions About This Podcast | Catching Up in Public (00:14:56)
Dive deep with me into my recent struggles with being consistent with this podcast. This is my candid share about how I went from discomfort to decisive action, exploring the mental roadblocks and self-imposed rules that held me back.
Simplifying my process, redefining my podcasting identity, and setting realistic goals that make things easier for myself gave me a renewed sense of commitment.
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(00:29) A Listener's Encouraging Words
(01:38) Planning the Comeback
(02:25) Introducing the Mini Series
(03:11) Travel Adventures
(04:09) Life Updates and Achievements
(05:19) Battling Inner Demons
(07:12) Reflection and Moving Forward
(08:01) Key Takeaways and Conclusion
--
Book your discovery call at https://calendly.com/byjenniferho/discovery-call
Contribute to the "advice column vibes" and make your ask at https://byjenniferho.com/askanintrovert
--
Find Jennifer on:
Instagram: @byjenniferho
LinkedIn: Jennifer Ho
Website: byjenniferho.com
19. Catching Up in Public (00:09:31)
In this episode of the Ask an Introvert Podcast, I'm returning after an unofficial 81-day hiatus.
I share a heartfelt story about a listener who inspired me to start recording again, and I outline this pod's new mini-series called "Catching Up in Public," where I will reflect on four pivotal months of my life in 2024. Listen in for an overview of my travels and personal milestones from March through June.
(00:29) A Listener's Encouraging Words
(01:38) Planning the Comeback
(02:25) Introducing the Mini Series
(03:11) Travel Adventures
(04:09) Life Updates and Achievements
(05:19) Battling Inner Demons
(07:12) Reflection and Moving Forward
(08:01) Key Takeaways and Conclusion
--
Find Jennifer on:
Instagram: @byjenniferho
LinkedIn: Jennifer Ho
Website: byjenniferho.com
--
If you're excited about the future of this podcast as much as we are, we have a few favors to ask of you:
Subscribe.
Leave a review.
Screenshot this and share it on your socials.
We would appreciate any and all of those so much.
And as always, remember that being introverted isn't something to overcome. It's something to love. It's okay to be introverted and to be you 💚
18. Self-worth in Friendships: Let Go of Neediness and Receive (00:39:17)
Meet Jess. Jess is my client from the group program, Making Friends as an Adult Introvert. Jess shares about her growth and insights on friendship that helped her release the pressure she was putting on herself.
While she prioritizes her roles as a wife and a mom, she found that investing in her friendships:
👀 does not take away from her priorities but rather lets her be more whole
👀 allows her to learn how to receive as a form of vulnerability
👀 helps her let go of neediness and set boundaries to feel confident and safe
There’s more to gain than there is to lose by making friends 🥹
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Work With Jennifer
The Making Friends As An (Adult) Introvert Group Program: 6-week group container where you can learn and get coached on everything that comes up in order to be intentional in your friendships. From building new friendships to improving mediocre ones and all the in-betweens like navigating social anxiety, loneliness, rejection, conflict, and disagreements, this program sets you up to make friends you have a future with! Sign up at byjenniferho.com/making-friends.
The Take Root 1:1 Program: 3 months of coaching designed and customized to your goals. In Take Root, you'll know your exact next steps towards leading your dream life: the one you actually want to live, not the fake extrovert version you've been told to have. Book a call to learn more at byjenniferho.com/coaching
Find Jennifer on:
Instagram: @byjenniferho
LinkedIn: Jennifer Ho
Website: byjenniferho.com
--
If you're excited about the future of this podcast as much as we are, we have a few favors to ask of you:
Subscribe.
Leave a review.
Screenshot this and share it on your socials.
We would appreciate any and all of those so much.
And as always, remember that being introverted isn't something to overcome. It's something to love. It's okay to be introverted and to be you 💚
17. Preventative Care for Loneliness (00:34:46)
Meet Brittany. Brittany is my lovely client from the 2nd cohort of the Making Friends group program.
She shares many profound perspectives on friendship in this interview, and my favorite highlight is that working on your friendships now is preventative care.
"Like you're not going to wait till you're older to build like strong bone density. Like when you're like 40, like it's too, it's not that it's too late, but it's a lot harder to like build bone density when you're already at that age, right? So start now. It's going to be worth it. It's like an investment in your future as well because friendships take time to grow." - Brittany
--
Work With Jennifer
The Making Friends As An (Adult) Introvert Group Program: 6-week group container where you can learn and get coached on everything that comes up in order to be intentional in your friendships. From building new friendships to improving mediocre ones and all the in-betweens like navigating social anxiety, loneliness, rejection, conflict, and disagreements, this program sets you up to make friends you have a future with! Sign up at byjenniferho.com/making-friends.
The Take Root 1:1 Program: 3 months of coaching designed and customized to your goals. In Take Root, you'll know your exact next steps towards leading your dream life: the one you actually want to live, not the fake extrovert version you've been told to have. Book a call to learn more at byjenniferho.com/coaching
Find Jennifer on:
Instagram: @byjenniferho
LinkedIn: Jennifer Ho
Website: byjenniferho.com
--
If you're excited about the future of this podcast as much as we are, we have a few favors to ask of you:
Subscribe.
Leave a review.
Screenshot this and share it on your socials.
We would appreciate any and all of those so much.
And as always, remember that being introverted isn't something to overcome. It's something to love. It's okay to be introverted and to be you 💚
BONUS. Interview on the Dream Life for Introverts (00:53:34)
This episode was originally recorded for the Thought Leader Club podcast (then known as the Side Hustle Club podcast) in January 2023.
My good friend and coach Cheryl Lau interviews me on the dream life for introverts.
Some highlights from the conversation include:
Creating your own dream life as an introvert
Stop trying to fake it and squeezing yourself into an extroverted box
Tips for content creation and business, specifically for introverts
Feeling left out as an introverted business owner and how to make friends online
And more energy management and travel tips!
16. Auditing Your Time & Money to Get Your Dream Life (00:17:17)
You’re likely very introspective as an introvert, always in tune with your inner world, but what about with how you spend your resources in the real world?
Time and money audits can help you uncover observations and patterns to inform you of what changes to make in order to get to your dream life.
March 5, 2024 Workshop: ABCs of Boundaries
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Work With Jennifer
The Take Root 1:1 Coaching Program: A 3-month program designed for introverts to develop and uphold the skills of self-respect, boundaries, and standards so that they can use their voice and embrace visibility to become the person they want to be. In Take Root, you'll know your exact next steps towards leading the life you actually want to live, not the fake extrovert life you've been told to have.
The Making Friends As An (Adult) Introvert Group Program: A 6-week group container where you can learn and get coached on everything that comes up when it comes to navigating friendships during that awkward stage of life in your 20s and 30s when everyone seems to be heading in different directions. Work on building new friendships, improving mediocre ones, and all the in-betweens like navigating social anxiety, loneliness, rejection, conflict, and disagreements.
Book your discovery call at calendly.com/byjenniferho/discovery-call
Find Jennifer on:
Instagram: @byjenniferho
LinkedIn: Jennifer Ho
Website: byjenniferho.com
--
If you're excited about the future of this podcast as much as we are, we have a few favors to ask of you:
Subscribe.
Leave a review.
Share this episode on your socials.
We would appreciate any and all of those so much 💚
