The Anger Management Podcast is your weekly guide to mastering your anger and creating the calm, happy and loving relationships you’ve always wanted.
Join anger expert Alastair Duhs as he shares practical tips, proven techniques and game-changing strategies to help you control your anger, master your emotions and transform your relationships into sources of calm, happiness and respect.
This podcast is for anyone who’s ready to break free from anger’s grip and create a life filled with peace and connection. If you're ready to take the next step toward a calmer, more fulfilling life, tune in each week and start your journey to true anger mastery.
Want to learn more? Visit AngerSecrets.com.
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61 - 5 Hidden Excuses That Keep You Stuck in the Anger Cycle (00:15:47)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.If you know your anger is hurting your relationships, but you keep putting off getting help, this episode is for you. In this eye-opening conversation, anger expert Alastair Duhs unpacks the five most common objections that stop people from taking action on their anger. Whether it’s fear, pride, doubt or simply feeling “too busy,” you’ll learn how to overcome the internal resistance that keeps you stuck - and discover why change is simpler and closer than you think.Key Takeaways:-Avoidance isn’t laziness—it’s fear. But naming that fear can take away its power.-Believing you should “fix it on your own” is a trap—real strength is knowing when to ask for help.-You’re not uniquely broken—anger follows a predictable pattern that can be changed with the right tools.-Lasting change doesn’t require years of therapy—it often starts with 10 minutes a day and consistent effort.-The cost of doing nothing—damaged relationships, missed opportunities and emotional pain—is far higher than the cost of change.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycleangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
60 - When Anger Destroys Your Relationship: Paul’s Story (00:17:36)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.What happens when the people you love start to fear your anger? In this deeply personal episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares Paul’s story - a father and partner whose uncontrolled anger nearly cost him everything. Through honest reflection and powerful insights, Paul reveals how one simple tool helped him break the cycle of anger, communicate with compassion and rebuild trust with the people who matter most.Key Takeaways:-Anger is rarely random-it's often a buildup of stress, hurt and old emotional habits that go unexamined.-Recognising physical warning signs like a pounding heart or tight chest can help you pause before you react.-Awareness is the foundation for change-it allows you to step back and make conscious choices rather than defaulting to old patterns.-Expressing sadness or hurt with calm words like “that comment hurt” can create connection instead of conflict.Real change doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a gradual process that starts with one decision and builds through daily effort.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycleangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
59 - The Hidden Triggers Behind Your Anger (00:15:40)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Have you ever felt like your anger comes out of nowhere? Like one small moment flips a switch and suddenly you're shouting or shutting down without knowing why? In this powerful episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs breaks down the truth about anger triggers - what they are, why they matter and how learning to recognise them can put you back in control of your anger, your relationships and your life.Key Takeaways:-Anger doesn’t strike randomly. It follows patterns based on personal emotional triggers and learned responses.-Your body gives you early warning signs of anger, like a racing heart, clenched jaw or rising tension. If you learn to spot them, you can stay ahead of an anger outburst.-Triggers don’t cause anger. Your thoughts about those triggers do. Shift your thinking and you shift your reaction.-Tracking your triggers helps you see which situations set you off, and gives you the power to plan and respond more effectively.-Managing your anger isn't about avoiding tough situations. It's about building the skills to respond with awareness instead of reactivity.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Break The Anger Cycleangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
58 - The Anger Myths That Are Secretly Ruining Your Life (00:20:20)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Many people think they don’t have an anger problem. They’re just “passionate,” “stressed” or “misunderstood.” In this eye-opening episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs uncovers the four most common myths people believe about anger, revealing how these hidden stories keep you stuck in harmful patterns. If you’ve ever felt like anger is just part of who you are, this episode will give you the truth (and the tools) you need to finally break free.Key Takeaways:-Denying your anger doesn’t make it disappear. It forces it underground, where it damages your health and relationships.-Anger isn’t something that just “happens” to you. It’s created by your thoughts about what’s going on around you.-Blaming others for your anger gives away your power. Recognising that you create your emotions puts you back in control.-Even lifelong anger can be changed with two core habits: noticing early warning signs and shifting the thoughts that fuel the fire.-You don’t need years of therapy to see results. Most people can make a real shift in just 21 days of consistent practice.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Control Your Anger in 7 Daysangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
57 - The Hidden Link Between Anger And Alcohol (00:20:44)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Does alcohol cause your anger outbursts? In this powerful episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores the hidden (and often misunderstood) connection between alcohol and anger. With honesty and compassion, Alastair reveals how drinking strips away your emotional guardrails, why it’s not the root of your anger and what you can do to stay in control, even in the heat of the moment.Key Takeaways:-Alcohol doesn’t cause anger—it amplifies what's already inside you.-Drinking impairs the prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain responsible for self-control and emotional regulation.-Most people blame alcohol to avoid facing deeper emotional patterns, but real change starts with taking responsibility.-Miscommunication and distorted perceptions are common when drinking, which often leads to explosive reactions.-Setting drink limits, having an exit plan for conflict, and asking a trusted friend to support you can prevent blowups before they happen.For some, the healthiest and safest path might be cutting out alcohol entirely to protect their relationships and emotional well-being.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycleangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
56 - Stop Letting Anger Win: Three Lessons That Change Everything (00:13:10)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Have you ever lost your temper and instantly regretted it? In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs reveals three life-changing lessons that will help you stop letting anger win and start responding with clarity, calm and control. Whether you’re just beginning your anger management journey or looking to deepen your self-awareness, these practical insights will show you how to break the cycle and build stronger relationships.Key Takeaways:-The first step to anger control is awareness—recognising the early warning signs before anger takes over.-Anger feels powerful in the moment, but it rarely helps solve the problem and often leaves deeper damage behind.-You create your anger through your thoughts and interpretations, which means you have the power to shift how you feel.-Tools like cognitive reframing can help you respond more thoughtfully and constructively, even in high-stress situations.-You are not a victim of your anger. You are the author of your reactions, and change starts with that realisation.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycleangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
55 - What Anger Really Is (and Why It Controls You) (00:13:11)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.What is anger, really? In this thought-provoking episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs joins Jake and Sarah to explore the emotion beneath the outbursts. Together, they unpack what anger truly is, why it takes over so fast and how understanding it can unlock the first step to real change.If you’ve ever felt like your anger controls you, or wondered if it has to, this episode will change the way you think.Key Takeaways:-Anger isn’t your actions, it’s the emotion underneath. Understanding that difference is the key to breaking the anger cycle.-Your thoughts and perceptions, not just the events themselves, are what trigger anger.-Recognising early warning signs of anger and using tools like deep breathing can help you interrupt angry reactions in real time.-Techniques like cognitive restructuring help shift how you interpret situations, reducing emotional intensity.Managing anger isn’t about suppressing it. It’s about learning to channel it in constructive, respectful ways.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycleangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
54 - How to Stop Fighting and Start Connecting (00:18:26)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Every relationship has conflict. But it’s how you handle that conflict that determines whether it brings you closer or drives you apart. In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares three powerful relationship tools that can help you stay calm in the heat of the moment, understand your partner more deeply and build a connection that lasts. If small issues often turn into big fights, this episode is for you.Key Takeaways:-Conflict is natural, but disconnection doesn’t have to be. Anger expert Alastair Duhs explains how to transform arguments into opportunities for growth.-Mastering the art of pausing when anger flares up can be the first step to stopping destructive cycles before they start.-Shifting your mindset from “winning” the argument to “understanding” your partner builds trust and emotional safety.-Regular positive connection, what Dr. John Gottman calls the “Magic Six Hours”, can make your relationship more resilient to stress and conflict.-Emotional safety is built through small, consistent moments of appreciation, affection and real listening.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycleangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
53 - The Day I Saw Fear in My Daughter’s Eyes - Cameron's Story (00:19:41)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.What happens when the people you love start to fear your reactions, even if you never raise your voice or hand? In this moving episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs sits down with Cameron, a husband and father whose journey into anger management began the night he saw fear in his daughter's eyes. What follows is a powerful story of self-awareness, humility and real transformation.Key Takeaways:-Emotional outbursts, no matter how rare, can deeply impact your loved ones, especially children.-Anger management isn’t just for those who “lose control”. It’s for anyone who reacts in ways they later regret.-Awareness of early warning signs of anger is a crucial step in changing reactive behavior.-Small moments of calm, empathy and listening can start rebuilding trust in strained relationships.-Change is hard but possible. Cameron likens his transformation to getting sober: difficult at first, but freeing.-Emotional abuse doesn't require physical violence. Just the presence of fear, instability or recurring tension.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Control Your Anger in 7 Daysangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
52 - When Anger Hurts the People You Love Most (00:17:46)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.When anger becomes a pattern, it doesn’t just hurt you — it affects the people you love the most. In this honest and deeply moving episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores the emotional cost of uncontrolled anger in families, relationships, and everyday life. With stories of real people who reached their breaking point and chose to change, this episode is both a wake-up call and a roadmap to healing.Key Takeaways:-Anger leaves lasting echoes: Outbursts may pass, but their emotional impact — fear, distance, tension — can linger in your home and relationships.-Uncontrolled anger creates fear: Loved ones may start walking on eggshells, living in quiet anxiety, never knowing when the next explosion will come.-Anger often masks deeper emotions: Beneath the rage is often shame, fear, or pain that needs to be understood, not hidden.-These are learned patterns — not who you are: Anger is not your identity, and with support and practice, it can be unlearned and replaced.-The ‘pause and pivot’ method works: A brief pause before reacting creates space for empathy, honest communication and healing.-Real stories show real change: Listeners like Nathan and Peter transformed their lives by learning to recognise the impact of their anger — and choosing a different path.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycleangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
51 - The Real Reason You Get Angry (00:20:12)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.When anger flares up, it can feel like something other people cause — a disrespectful comment, a traffic jam, a partner’s forgetfulness. But what if the real reason you get angry isn’t out there, but within you? In this revealing episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs, with help from AI co-hosts Jake and Sarah, unpacks a powerful truth: your thoughts create your anger — and that means you can change it. If you're ready to reclaim your calm and control your reactions, this episode shows you how.Key Takeaways:-Anger begins with your thoughts: It’s not the event, but how you interpret it — your story about what’s happening — that creates anger.-Your reactions aren’t set in stone: Even deeply ingrained patterns of anger can be rewired through conscious awareness and consistent practice.-The power lies in the pause: Noticing the thought before reacting gives you the chance to choose a calmer, more helpful response.-Blame is easy — change is transformational: Shifting from “they made me angry” to “I created this feeling” is the first step toward real emotional freedom.-You’re not powerless: You can train your mind to respond differently, build stronger relationships, and feel more in control of your emotions.-Small steps lead to big change: Catch one thought, question one reaction, practice one pause — and you’re already breaking the cycle.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycleangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
50- How to Stop Anger Before It Starts (00:16:54)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Have you ever gone from calm to furious in seconds — and wondered how it escalated so fast? In this eye-opening episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs reveals the one essential key to preventing outbursts before they begin: awareness. With help from AI co-hosts Jake and Sarah, Alastair explains how to recognise your personal early warning signs of anger, create space between trigger and reaction, and stop anger from taking control of your life and relationships.Key Takeaways:-Anger doesn’t come out of nowhere: Even explosive reactions start with subtle cues in your body, mind, and behavior — if you know how to notice them.-Awareness gives you power: The moment you catch anger rising, you create a pause — and in that pause, you can choose a better response.-Your early warning signs are unique: Learning what signals anger for you personally is the first step to stopping it in its tracks.-Real stories, real change: Dan, Kyle and Ross share how simple awareness transformed their relationships and helped them break destructive patterns.-Awareness is the foundation for every anger management tool: Without it, you're stuck on autopilot. With it, you can take control and build calmer, more connected relationships.-Change is possible for everyone: No matter your past, anger doesn’t have to define your future — and the journey starts with noticing.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycleangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
49 - Anger Doesn’t Work (00:18:59)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Anger can feel powerful — but that surge of energy, those sharp words or slammed doors, are often doing more harm than good. In this deeply important episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs and AI co-hosts Jake and Sarah reveal the truth: uncontrolled anger doesn’t solve problems — it creates them. From subtle emotional abuse to devastating outbursts, this episode explores how anger chips away at trust and connection — and how you can reclaim real power through calm, clarity, and conscious choice.Key Takeaways:-Anger doesn’t work — it wounds: What feels powerful in the moment often damages your relationships and leaves you feeling regretful and isolated.-Abuse comes in many forms: Uncontrolled anger can turn into verbal, emotional, or even physical patterns of abuse — even if it doesn’t look like “rage.”-The illusion of control: Using anger to get what you want creates a false sense of power — real strength lies in calm, conscious responses.-Unaddressed anger escalates: Left unchecked, anger tends to grow and multiply, creating destructive cycles that erode relationships and self-respect.-You can choose a different path: Learning emotional awareness, empathy and communication gives you the tools to respond instead of react — and truly change your life.-Change starts with a single decision: The choice to take back control of your reactions is the first step toward building healthier, more respectful relationships.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycleangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
48 - I Wish I Could Take It Back: Leon's Story (00:14:58)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Anger doesn’t always look like shouting. Sometimes, it shows up as tension in your tone, silence in place of connection or words that leave unseen bruises. In this moving episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares Leon’s powerful story — a man who didn’t think he had an anger problem until he realised how deeply his unspoken frustration was affecting the people he loved. If you’ve ever said, “At least I’m not yelling,” this episode is a wake-up call — and a message of hope.Key Takeaways:-Anger can be quiet and still cause harm: Leon’s story reveals how subtle signs — tone of voice, emotional withdrawal, critical words — can hurt just as much as yelling.-Awareness is the game-changer: Learning to recognise the physical and emotional signs of anger helped Leon stop it before it boiled over.-Change starts with empathy: Leon’s desire to protect his young daughter from emotional harm gave him the motivation to change, fast.-Communication goes both ways: The course helped Leon understand the importance of listening and considering how his words impacted others.-Even skepticism can lead to transformation: Leon was unsure at first, but within days of starting the course, he began making real, lasting changes.-Positive self-talk creates resilience: Anchoring his change to something precious — his daughter — gave Leon strength to shift old patterns and stay calm under pressure.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycleangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
47 - Breaking Free from the Blame Game (00:20:13)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.When things go wrong, it’s tempting to point the finger — at your partner, your boss, even your kids. But blame doesn’t solve problems; it creates distance. In this powerful episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores "The Blame Game" — a hidden habit that damages relationships and keeps us stuck in conflict. With help from AI co-hosts Jake and Sarah, Alastair unpacks why we blame, how it affects those around us and what you can do instead to build understanding and connection.Key Takeaways:-Blame is a defence mechanism: It often shows up automatically to protect our ego from discomfort, but it only deepens disconnection.-Awareness is the first step: Simply noticing when you’re blaming — even in your own mind — opens the door to a different response.-Own your part: Taking responsibility for your contribution, no matter how small, shifts you from victim mode into growth and empowerment.-Practice empathy over accusation: Asking “Why might they be acting this way?” builds understanding and defuses conflict.-Let go of “shoulds”: Rigid thinking about how things should have gone only fuels resentment. Focus on what can be done now.-Communicate to connect: Use “I” statements, listen actively, and validate feelings to create safer, more productive conversations.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycleangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
46 - Anger Management Programs: Do They Work? (00:13:56)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Does anger feel like a cycle you can’t escape—despite your best intentions? In this episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs takes a closer look at whether anger management programs actually work. Through real-world examples and compelling research, you'll discover how practical tools and proven strategies can help you take back control, rebuild trust and create a calmer, more respectful life.Key Takeaways:Anger is human, not shameful: The goal isn’t to suppress anger—it’s to understand and redirect it in healthier ways.Real tools create real change: Skills like identifying early warning signs, using timeouts and self-soothing can dramatically shift how you respond under pressure.Science supports success: Research shows anger management programs reduce aggression, improve emotional control and help reframe distorted thinking.Change doesn’t require years of therapy: Structured, practical programs offer step-by-step support you can start using right away.Taking the first step is powerful: Just deciding to seek help is a courageous act—and a meaningful step toward more peaceful relationships.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Control Your Anger in 7 Daysangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
45 - The Four Habits That Quietly Destroy Relationships (00:17:51)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Some relationships crumble not because of one big fight—but because of small, damaging habits repeated over time. In this episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores the Four Horsemen of relationship breakdown—criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling—and more importantly, how to replace them with healthier, more constructive behaviors. If you're ready to protect and strengthen your connection, this episode is your roadmap.Key Takeaways:Criticism chips away at connection: Focus on expressing your needs with “I” statements instead of blaming or attacking your partner’s character.Contempt is the most toxic dynamic: Sarcasm, eye-rolling and superiority destroy respect. The antidote is appreciation—notice and name what your partner does well.Defensiveness blocks growth: Instead of explaining or blaming back, try taking responsibility, even for a small part of the problem.Stonewalling shuts down the relationship: If you're overwhelmed, pause to self-soothe—but always come back to the conversation.Every pattern can be changed: With awareness, practice and the right tools, you can shift from conflict to connection—and build a relationship that lasts.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Control Your Anger in 7 Daysangersecrets.com/course — Enrol in The Complete Anger Management System
44 - The Art Of An Effective Apology (00:15:42)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.We’ve all been there—saying something in anger that we didn’t mean, only to be left with regret and a damaged relationship. In this episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs guides you through the often misunderstood art of a true apology.You’ll learn how to move beyond a quick “I’m sorry” and instead make a real, lasting repair that rebuilds trust and strengthens connection.Key Takeaways:Own your actions fully: A real apology starts with clear responsibility—no “buts,” no excuses, no blame-shifting.Validate their feelings: Empathy is crucial. Showing that you understand the hurt you've caused can begin the healing process.Make meaningful amends: Actions speak louder than words. Small, specific efforts to repair the damage show sincerity and care.Commit to change: Apologising isn’t just about the past—it’s a promise about the future, ideally with a plan for how things will be different.Respect their timeline: Forgiveness can take time. Patience, humility and consistency are key to rebuilding trust.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Control Your Anger in 7 Daysangersecrets.com/course — Enrol in The Complete Anger Management System
43 - Transform Conflict Into Connection (00:16:57)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Do you ever feel stuck in the same arguments, saying things you don’t mean and watching your relationship suffer? In this episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs introduces a simple, practical three-step process to help you transform conflict into connection.If you’re tired of walking on eggshells or feeling like every disagreement turns into a battle, this episode offers a better way forward—one based on respect, empathy and shared solutions.Key Takeaways:Mindset matters: Entering a disagreement with a spirit of collaboration—rather than competition—sets the stage for real resolution.Listening is deeper than hearing: Active listening means setting aside your defences and really tuning into your partner’s emotions and needs.Solve the real problem together: Brainstorming without judgment helps uncover creative, win-win solutions that go beyond surface-level fixes.Make it stick with action: Clear plans, shared accountability, and regular check-ins turn good intentions into lasting change.Small shifts make a big difference: When both partners feel heard and valued, conflict becomes an opportunity—not a threat.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Control Your Anger in 7 Daysangersecrets.com/course — Enrol in The Complete Anger Management System
42 - The Hidden Power of Compassion (00:18:36)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.What if the key to overcoming anger wasn’t more control, but more compassion? In this thought-provoking episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores how choosing compassion—far from being weak or passive—can be a powerful way to break the cycle of reactivity and protect your most important relationships. If you’ve ever lashed out in the heat of the moment and wished you could take it back, this episode could change the way you see anger forever.Key Takeaways:-Assumptions fuel anger: Most outbursts are based on incomplete stories and snap judgments—recognising this blind spot can stop anger before it starts.-Curiosity creates space: Taking a moment to ask “What else might be going on?” turns impulse into insight and helps you respond thoughtfully.-Compassion is not weakness: It’s a conscious choice to interrupt the anger cycle and act from strength, not reactivity.-We all have hidden struggles: Seeing others through a compassionate lens—even in conflict—fosters connection and emotional clarity.-You always have a choice: While you can’t control others, you can choose your response—and that’s where real power lies.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Control Your Anger in 7 Daysangersecrets.com/course — Enrol in The Complete Anger Management System
41 - 5 Simple Strategies To Control Your Anger (00:18:16)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.What if you could stop anger before it spirals out of control? In this episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares five powerful strategies to help you take control of anger in the heat of the moment—before it causes lasting damage to your relationships or peace of mind. Whether you're prone to explosive outbursts or just want to stay calm under pressure, this episode offers practical tools that can make a real difference.Key Takeaways:-Recognise your early warning signs of anger: Learn how to spot the physical and emotional signals—like a clenched jaw or rising heart rate—that anger is building before it takes over-Take a time out (the right way): Stepping away isn’t enough—learn how to use that time intentionally to cool down and reset your mindset.-Use your breath to calm your body: Discover a simple breathing technique that helps deactivate the body’s fight-or-flight response and restore emotional balance.-Reframe the situation: Shift your perspective in the moment by challenging negative thoughts and considering alternative explanations.-Think about the consequences: Before you react, ask yourself: Will this really help me get what I want? This one pause can protect your relationships—and your self-respect.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Control Your Anger in 7 Daysangersecrets.com/course — Enrol in The Complete Anger Management System
40 - Is Fighting Normal? What Most Couples Get Wrong (00:19:24)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Is it normal to fight with someone you love? Absolutely. But how you fight makes all the difference. In this powerful episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs — joined by AI co-hosts Jake and Sarah — explores what healthy conflict actually looks like. You’ll discover how even difficult arguments can become turning points for connection, growth, and trust when you approach them with the right tools and mindset.Key Takeaways:Arguments are normal — and not a sign of failure. Conflict happens in every relationship. The goal isn’t to avoid arguments, but to navigate them respectfully and constructively.Most fights aren’t about the dishes. Beneath many arguments lies an unmet emotional need — like feeling unheard, unvalued or disconnected.Use “I” statements to reduce defensiveness. Phrasing like “I feel hurt when...” keeps the focus on your experience and prevents blame from derailing the conversation.Listen to understand, not to win. By slowing down and really hearing your partner, you create space for empathy, not escalation.Work together to find solutions. Approach conflict as teammates, not opponents — and look for resolutions that work for both of you.Repair matters. Apologising, owning your part and reconnecting after a fight builds safety and deepens trust over time.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Control Your Anger in 7 Daysangersecrets.com/course — Enrol in The Complete Anger Management System
39 - How To Break The Anger Cycle (00:18:19)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.If you've ever said, “I'm sorry, it won’t happen again,” but found yourself losing your temper anyway — this episode is for you. Anger expert Alastair Duhs, with help from AI co-hosts Jake and Sarah, unpacks why anger keeps hijacking your reactions despite your best intentions. You’ll learn how to break the anger cycle not with willpower alone, but with awareness, skill and support — so you can finally start living the change you keep promising.Key Takeaways:Anger doesn’t appear out of nowhere — it builds. Learning to spot your early warning signs of anger (like clenched jaws, fast breathing, or racing thoughts) gives you the power to intervene before things escalate.Most people wait too long to act. By recognising anger early and using tools like deep breathing or taking space, you give yourself the pause needed to stay in control.Positive self-talk can de-escalate intense emotions. Replacing unhelpful thoughts like “I can’t handle this” with “I can stay calm and in control” helps shift your emotional state in the moment.Underlying beliefs shape your anger patterns. Beliefs like “I must be right” or “life should be fair” often drive repeat anger episodes — challenging and changing these can lead to lasting transformation.You don’t need perfection — just practice. Small, consistent changes can profoundly improve how you handle anger and how safe your relationships feel.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Control Your Anger in 7 Daysangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
38 - The Power of Vulnerability (00:20:41)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this heartfelt episode of The Anger Management Podcast, we explore the quiet loneliness that can exist even in close relationships—and how vulnerability can bridge that emotional gap. Anger expert Alastair Duhs, with help from AI co-hosts Jake and Sarah, dives into why opening up feels so risky, how emotional walls quietly sabotage intimacy and how you can begin sharing your inner world in a way that feels safe, strong, and real.Key Takeaways:Vulnerability isn’t weakness—it’s courageous honesty. Real strength lies in showing your true self, not just your anger, but also your fears, needs, and hopes.Your anger may be masking deeper emotions. Slow down and ask, “What am I really feeling beneath this anger?” to reveal the sadness, fear or longing you might be hiding.Use “I” statements to foster connection. Communicating your feelings clearly and without blame helps your partner hear you, not defend against you.Your partner isn’t a mind reader. If you need support or connection, say so directly—honesty is a bridge, not a burden.Create space for connection. Regular, intentional moments—like a short daily check-in or a phone-free walk—build the emotional safety that makes vulnerability possible.Anger often protects something more tender underneath. When you embrace emotional honesty, anger softens and true intimacy begins to grow.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Control Your Anger in 7 Daysangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
37 - The Mask You Didn’t Know You Were Wearing (00:17:14)
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Why do so many men feel pressure to be strong, silent or always in control — even when it’s hurting them inside? In this courageous episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores the emotional “masks” many men wear to survive societal expectations — and how those masks can quietly feed disconnection, frustration, and unchecked anger. With thoughtful insight from AI co-hosts Jake and Sarah, this conversation offers a path toward healthier masculinity, deeper relationships, and the kind of strength that comes from taking the mask off.Key Takeaways:Emotional masks start as protection — but can become a prison: Roles like the provider, protector or alpha male may help men cope, but when worn constantly, they block real connection and emotional growth.Anger is often the “acceptable” emotion — but it’s not the only one: Many men struggle to express fear, sadness, or vulnerability. Reclaiming these emotions isn’t weakness — it’s how real healing and closeness begin.Letting go of old roles opens the door to authenticity: When you stop performing and start showing up as yourself, you create space for real conversations, stronger relationships, and healthier responses to conflict.You don’t have to do it alone: Whether through friendship, therapy or support programs, finding people you can open up to is one of the most transformative steps a man can take.Healthy masculinity means emotional awareness, not emotional avoidance: True strength isn’t about hiding pain — it’s about having the courage to face it, express it, and grow from it.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Control Your Anger in 7 Daysangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
