A podcast where two non-believers read through the Bible but try not to be jerks about it. Join comics writers Benito Cereno and Chris Sims as they journey through the Good Book from Acts to Zephaniah, with stops in the Apocrypha along the way.
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For the first time in ten years, Theophiloi -- and the first time ever during the lifespan of this very podcast -- Chris and Benito are in the same place, actually hanging out with each other! What be...
117: King Solomon's Hog (The Second Book of Chronicles, feat. Aaron Higashi) (01:51:10)
Yes, Theophiloi, that quote at the top of the show is actually in Bible. Like, full canon Bible that you can find in the back of the pew or the hotel room drawer. I was surprised too, but you know who...
116: It's His BIRTHDAY, Be Nice! (The Revelation of the Magi) (01:46:58)
O come, all ye Theophiloi, joyful and triumphant, to the final Apocrypals episode of 2024! We two kings of podcasting are reading a story about a talking star as we dive into the Revelation of the Mag...
115: Hell Is The Big Show (The Life of St. Christina the Astonishing) (01:39:27)
CONTENT WARNING: Our discussion of St. Christina includes mention of self-harm and mental illness. It's Halloween, TheoKILLoi, and that means it's time once again for our annual tradition of Haints a...
114: Sin-onyms, The Devil's Argument (The Martyrdom of Perpetua and Felicity) (01:45:58)
If you learn nothing else from our show, Theophiloi, let it be this: Never send a cow to do a leopard's job. This, for the record, is not a metaphor, it's the lesson that we learn from the passion of ...
113: Jaoel Instant Messenger (The Apocalypse of Abraham) (01:50:46)
Grab your turtledoves and get to stranglin', Theophiloi, because we're taking another trip to the Seventh Firmament, and this time we're bringing good ol' Father Abraham in the years before he had his...
112: Approximate Week VI: The Undiscovered Country (02:37:51)
Leave cookies and milk for the werewolves and a thorn bush on your doorstep for St. Benedict, Theophiloi, because it's Approximate Week once again! We're celebrating the eight nights between our birth...
111: All Skips No Hits (1 Chronicles) (01:28:47)
Open your ears to hear, Theophiloi! Your humble Sons of Thunder are back in style with a return to the show and to Canon Bible, just in time to kick off your Approximate Week celebrations! As promised...
Multipals 06: Dr. Justin Sledge (01:19:29)
It's 2024, Theophiloi, and a new year means new friends for your humble sons of thunder! This time, we're chatting to Dr. Justin Sledge about Biblical esoterica and Qabalah, and you know what that mea...
Multipals 05: Dr. Alexiana Fry (01:32:10)
You know, theophiloi, the topic of trauma in Bible might not seem like something that would lead most people to an extensive discussion of James "Logan" "Wolverine" "Patch" "Lucky Jim" Howlett, but, w...
110: The Beastie Boys' Worst Nightmare (The Lock-In (2014)) (01:39:29)
Happy Halloween, The-AHHH!-philoi! As is our tradition here on the show, we're spending the spookiest day of the year looking at texts involving haints and saints! Sort of! We're pushing the definitio...
109: Chris and Benito's Bible Bonkers (The Didache) (01:15:30)
You there, Theophiloi! What day is to-day? Wait, what? OCTOBER?! Well, I guess we did miss it, then, and the spirits took their sweet time teaching us the true meaning of Approximate Week. Oh well, ti...
Multipals 04: Tony Burke and Janet Spittler (01:13:58)
Don't worry, Theophiloi! You still have some time to leave coffee out for a werewolf and decorate your anti-arousal thorn bush for Approximate Week (observed). We're bumping back our celebrations to o...
Multipals 03: Anne Thériault (01:25:16)
Do you wanna party, Theophiloi? I sure hope so, because the Multipals series continues with another of our rowdy friends: Anne Thériault (from Ontario), who joins us to talk about her work writing abo...
Multipals 02: Aaron Higashi (01:08:03)
Don't be jealous, dear Theophiloi; just because we have some new friends doesn't mean we still don't love you just as much! In this episode, we're talking to another luminary of Biblical TikTok, Aaron...
Multipals 01: Dr. Dan McClellan (01:32:12)
Hello, friends and neighbors, and welcome (uh, back?) to a brand new sub-series: Multipals! In these episodes, we're going to be sitting down with guests to talk about Bible and, most likely, Wolverin...
108: Skip This One (The Book of Hosea) (01:01:20)
Look, Thephiloi, you don't actually have to skip this one (it's actually one of my personal favorites, tbqh) but I'm gonna warn you up front: we were in a PRETTY SILLY MOOD when we were recording this...
107: Hellmensch (Stories of the Baal Shem Tov, vol. 2) (01:12:12)
You there, Theophiloi, what day is to-day? What? It's mid-November? Well, we keep the spirit of Halloween in our hearts year round on this podcast, so we're going ahead with our annual tradition of Ha...
106: A Serious Goku Move (The Second Book of Kings) (01:37:22)
Welcome to Season 2 of Apocrypals, dear Theophiloi! You know, like how every podcast does 103 regular episodes and then takes an extremely planned break of several months before returning, refreshed a...
105: Approximate Week V: RaVager (01:17:44)
No spoilers, Theophiloi. It's our birthday we're covering a text that listeners have been requesting for five years. Hymnal: "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry, "The Winner Takes It All" by Stephen Mann o...
104: Previously, On Bible (The Epistle to the Hebrews) (01:04:07)
And what more can I say, Theophiloi? By faith, we recorded a podcast about the Epistle to the Hebrews, which some dweeb thought was written by Mr. Paul even though it doesn't start with a lengthy intr...
103: Sucky James (The History of Joseph the Carpenter) (01:02:51)
I suspect, dear Theophiloi, that there is no stepfather in all history more overshadowed than poor Joseph, the humble carpenter whose competition for his Son's affection was in fact the Almighty God. ...
102: Napalm Toots (The Lives of St. Martha of Bethany and St. Margaret of Antioch) (01:09:44)
The Book of Job is famously one of history's biggest bummers, Theophiloi, so in this episode, we're going with something that always brings us joy: women fighting dragons. It's Martha of Bethany and M...
101: The Apocrypals Solve Theodicy (The Book of Job) (01:13:03)
Have you ever wondered why bad things happen to good people, Theophiloi? Well, we've found the answer in the Book of Job, a literary classic and/or utter failure, and it's pretty simple: God's indiffe...
100: Escape From Flesh Island (The Gospel of Judas) (01:43:23)
No man knoweth the hour or the day, Theophiloi, but our 100th episode is at hand! In celebration of our centennial, we take on one of our most requested texts: the recently discovered Gospel of Judas...
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