Rob and Jemry are going through the entire filmography of one Hollywood Actor/Creator from start to end. In the first season we are watching the complete works of Arnold Schwarzenegger.*
We review the movies, we review the Arnolds, we address the highlights and the low-lights and we even suggest how we'd do it given the chance.
We cannot stress enough that we are not endorsed by the big man himself.
*We reserve the right to veto cameo appearances, uncredited appearances, or "as himself".
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It's finally here, the first annual Arnold Schwarzenegger Battle Royale! Marvel as all 44 previous Arnold Schwarzenegger characters are sorted into categories and forced to fight to the death in a tournament scenario. Can Mr. Freeze overcome Handsome Stranger? Will the T-800 Terminator defeat the T-850 one? And who exactly is Bar Patron? Joined by Ry, creator of the Arnold Schwarzenegger Presents and Sven Watch themes, Rob and Jemry oversee the grand Arnold Schwarzenegger Battle Royale, and come to a surprising result.
44 - Terminator: Dark Fate (00:40:07)
Our podcast's coverage of Arnold Schwarzenegger films almost comes to an end in the penultimate episode of season 1. Joined by Nick Mason, we cover Arnold's latest* theatrical release, Terminator: Dark Fate, and review what we have learned so far, which admittedly isn't much. Recorded in late 2019 in a lead up to the Arnold Schwarzenegger Battle Royale, this episode features book smarts, stunt doubles and murder victims, along with an aging robot that's learned how to feel. *I'm not entirely sure when Journey to China: The Mystery of Iron Mask releases.
43 - Aftermath (00:41:45)
Joined by Avery Hutley, the podcast watches the Scoot McNairy film Aftermath and then, in the Aftermath of that traumatic event, discusses cinema sound calibration, air traffic control protocol, and the merits of military training from a long, long time ago. Oh, and the film itself.
42 - Killing Gunther (00:31:52)
Randy Adeva returns to the podcast for a record third time to discuss the extended SNL sketch that is Taran Killam's Killing Gunther. As with most other episodes of the podcast, Arnold Schwarzenegger makes an appearance in the film we're discussing, and is arguably the best part. Our fight to the death this week finally enters the MCU™, as The Hulk™ takes on a brain surgeon, an ice skater and a dancing clown who may or may not be named Chubbs™.
41 - Maggie (00:36:24)
Joined by Katherine Allan of Well, Actually, the podcast reviews Maggie, the dramatic turn by Arnold Schwarzenegger that mostly features him standing around and brooding.
40 - Terminator Genisys (00:33:58)
Erin Michelle joins the podcast this week for Terminator Genisys, a film that doesn't ever give an explanation its portmanteau title, or any of its plot, really. Jai Courtney, Emilia Clarke and Jason Clarke all hide their natural accents and join Arnold Schwarzenegger to portray less iconic versions of characters you've seen in better terminator films. You can check out both Erin and Jemry in Pretty Good Lineup, 6th – 19th of April at the 2020 Melbourne International Comedy Festival, details available here.
39 - Sabotage (00:26:10)
Matthew Vasquez joins the podcast this week for David Ayer's Sabotage, an Arnold Schwarzenegger film featuring a surprising lack of sabotage. Maybe they should have gone with a more descriptive title, like Subterfuge, or Underwhelming. In other parts of the podcast, a father, a president and a music teacher walk into a sewer. No, it's not a joke, it's an introduction to our recurring fight to the death segment.
38 - The Expendables 3 (00:42:25)
Joined by Jordan Barr, the podcast takes another journey with a team called The Expendables that consider themselves anything but. Can the presence of Wesley Snipes and Kelsey Grammar take this movie to heights hitherto unreached by the previous films? The short answer is no.
37 - Escape Plan (00:32:35)
Joined by Maddy Weeks, the podcast goes down to the bottom floor of a top secret boat jail in search of someone named Mannheim, but only finds the subject of our very special podcast, Arnold Schwarzenegger. We also watch and discuss Escape Plan, for those playing at home. Elsewhere, in fight to the death news, snowmen fight dragons, demons fight superheroes, and someone bravely sacrifices themselves for no real reason. It's all happening on this boat, folks!
36 - The Last Stand (00:27:16)
Joined by Angus Gordon, this Arnold Schwarzenegger podcast watches The Last Stand, in which FBI agent Forest Whitaker chases an international drug lord in a race to the Mexican border. If you're confused as to how this premise relates to an Arnold Schwarzenegger/Johnny Knoxville small town action-comedy, join the damn club.
35 - The Expendables 2 (00:36:27)
Joined by Josh Webb and Matthew Hespe, it's an even bigger and more coherently edited team up than last week, as the podcast explores The Expendables 2. In this one, Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes self-aware, sees humanity as a threat to his existence, and decides to trigger a deadly nuclear strike. We also find out the answer to the question everyone is asking: What can Abraham Lincoln, two bears and a guy with a bow and arrow do against a bunch of bickering action stars? Also, why is Chuck Norris' musical motif in this movie from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, and not from Walker, Texas Ranger?
34 - The Expendables (00:54:02)
It's the team-up of the century this week on Arnold Schwarzenegger Presents, A Nugget Loads Podcast, as Tias Allard joins us to cover The Expendables. It's a film so chock full of action stars it doesn't have any time for things like a credible plot or coherent editing, but hey, they got Arnold for a few minutes, so we're going to cover it. Things also heat up in the life, death and tattoo arena, with a super villain, an evil ex, and some bio-digital jazz, man. Be sure to check out the best Arnold Schwarzenegger focused podcast around, and also this one if you have time. Love you all.
33 - Terminator Salvation (00:46:02)
Joined by Dave Hynes, the podcast covers the Terminator film with the least of our favourite Arnold, Terminator Salvation, and somewhat appropriately, stays the least on topic of any of our Arnold Schwarzenegger podcasts. Featuring a monkey thought translator, a man with many clones, and a whole bunch of top quality improvements, this podcast finally answers the question everyone is asking: is Joel Edgerton in the Terminator movies? The answer may surprise you.
32 - The Kid and I (00:28:36)
Starved for Arnold Schwarzenegger content in the dark governor years of 2003-2011, the podcast takes a glimpse into the fictional life of Tom Arnold analogue Bill Williams in the movie The Kid and I. Joined by Bella Green and Cat Finch, the podcast explores Twins remakes, ghost characters, and a 9-person battle royale involving Hard Candy's Ellen Page, and, no judgement, Allegra from the movie Hitch.
31 - Around the World in 80 Days (00:32:02)
Tess Bentley joins the podcast this week, as we watch Around the World in 80 Days, and discuss statues of the kaiju Rodan, muppets, and just what Mark Addy will do when he's guaranteed a physician that can replace his nipples. Also, our episodic fight to the death features love/life himself, a vampire hunter, and the voice of Tom Kenny, along with our usual buttery Arnold Schwarzenegger goodness.
30 - Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (00:41:13)
After an extended break in respect for the last podcast appearance of Sven, the podcast returns for some more Arnold goodness with Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. It's the first Terminator film to not feature Linda Hamilton, the first not to be directed by James Cameron, and unfortunately, the first one that's just not that good. Joined by Joseph Green, who had not yet seen Terminator 2 due to a miscommunication, Rob and Jemry use the podcast to talk about Sgt Candy, the terminator detecting abilities of dogs, and finally get an answer to the question "could Dory stop Judgement Day?".
29 - Welcome to the Jungle/The Rundown (00:29:50)
Arnold Schwarzengger insists you have fun, Christopher Walken welcomes you the jungle, and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson gives you the rundown. Why can't any of these movie stars mind their own damn business?! Joined by Tom Bown, the best Arnie podcast around covers the Peter Berg classic Welcome to the Jungle (or The Rundown if you're a fan of inferior titles), and debates whether taking Option A or Option B is the winning strategy.
28 - Collateral Damage (00:39:21)
So you want a podcast on Collateral Damage, huh? I'll give you a podcast on Collateral Damage! Arnold Schwarzenegger goes on the hunt for The Wolf, the Colombian terrorist responsible for the death of his wife and child. He also wants to know where his comedy relief sidekick is, since every time one appears they seem to die one scene later. Randy Adeva (Episode 21 - True Lies) returns to the podcast to teach us about Punch Drunk Love, killing Ben Parker, and the dangers of spitting hot fire around severed gas lines. We also briefly discuss a man being force fed a coral snake, because this IS a comedy podcast.
27 - The Sixth Day (00:27:43)
How can there be a The Sixth Day after the End of Days? The podcast explores by not mentioning End of Days at all, and instead discussing this Arnold Schwarzenegger movie on its own terms. Jonathan Stiglec joins Rob and Jemry to discuss the ethical conundrums of cloning Arnold Schwarzenegger, making nacho cheese bananas, and having a threesome with a clone of yourself, on this podcast about The Sixth Day.
26 - End of Days (00:49:01)
It's the End of Days, but not for the podcast, as we cover the famed Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, and the eighty million cuts contained within. The wonderful Chris Ritchie joins Rob and Jemry this week for an extra long episode exploring light speed trains, flammable urine and the demons of the apple dimension.
25 - Batman and Robin (00:41:12)
A freeze is coming, as the best Arnold Schwarzenegger podcast in town chills out with the coolest movie in town, Batman and Robin. I hope you enjoy terrible ice puns, because they're certainly not going to get any better. Matthew Hespe joins Jemry and Rob to talk about Frasier, Coolio and George of the Jungle, plus we get to the surface of those Air Buddies films, and take down all the fat cats in the diamond industry.
24 - Eraser (00:36:42)
There's railguns galore, Perfect Dark-style, as the podcast visits Arnold Schwarzenegger's 1996 classic Eraser. Suspiciously large brooches, high pressure skyscrapers, and some bloodthirsty CGI alligators all make for a fun time, as does Robert Pastorelli as Johnny Casteleone. Also, Sven Watch makes a return. Roland Hoffmann (@RolandoHoffmann) joins Rob and Jemry on the podcast, and creates some literal Shakespearean tragedy, and also probably traumatises a fictional deer. The Arnold Schwarzenegger film Eraser also comes up in discussion.
23 - Jingle All The Way (00:37:03)
The podcast celebrates Christmas in July as we revisit Jingle All The Way, the movie where Arnold Schwarzenegger fights a group of Santas trying to sell bootleg children's toys. Of course, this is likely in direct retaliation to Turbo Man taking over the starring role in the Christmas parade, but what can 30 Santas do in the face of consumerism gone mad. Donna Collins joins Rob and Jemry on the podcast, as we discuss the ethical problems with continuing franchises and feeding poisoned 14-year-olds into woodchippers, as well as touching on Jingle All The Way for a moment or two.
22 - Junior (00:28:45)
The podcast this week visits Junior, the Ivan Reitman film that casts Arnold Schwarzenegger in his most unlikely role yet: a scientist, and dares to ask the question "how can man form prangent"? Tess Bentley joins Rob and Jemry on the podcast, as we watch Junior and learn that a bag of heroin can't raise a baby, giving birth is relatively chill, and lobster claws can be propelled to the strangest of places.
21 - True Lies (00:32:41)
This week on the podcast, we cover True Lies, our last James Cameron film before the release of Avatar IV: The Quest for Peace. With some questionable hiring procedures and horse-elevator etiquette, Arnold Schwarzenegger rides real fast past a guy on a saxophone, and oh boy, is he surprised? Yes. Randy Adeva joins Jemry and a characteristically quiet Rob for some analysis, rankings, and the typical fight to the death scenario between a whole bunch of Jim Carrey characters and a bus. Along the way, they also discuss the Arnold Schwarzenegger film True Lies, and really, who could ask for more?
