How do we find a way out of the darkest depths of despair? Psychiatrist Dr. Craig Heacock hosts a deep dive into powerfully moving stories of hope and healing, as well as topical explorations of psychopharmacology, psychotherapy, and psychedelics.
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When psychiatric illness isn't just psychiatric-- The immune system, PANS, and psychiatric mimicry (01:20:45)
There is a growing awareness in psychiatry that not all psychiatric illness is psychiatric— some percentage of what presents in psychiatric settings is actually triggered by autoimmune responses to various pathogens and insults. In the late '90s a syndrome called PANDAS (pediatric autoimmune neuropsychiatric disorders associated with strep) came on the scene with cases of sudden onset OCD and tics that appeared in conjunction with strep infections. The theory behind PANDAS was that part...
10 Questions to Deepen Psychotherapy-- Inviting the Here and Now (00:16:11)
Psychotherapy can often get stuck in a there and then storytelling mode....how do we shift the therapeutic encounter into the immediacy of the Here and Now? Here Dr. H shares 10 questions which shine a spotlight on what's happening (and not happening!) between therapist and patient. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Explore the full BFTA Content Catalog: A listener-built, human-curated index of every Back From The Abyss episode to help you find them...
Is DID real? Parts, alters, exiles, and what's allowed in the therapeutic space (01:07:37)
Dr. H sits down with Jade Miller, a peer support specialist and advocate for public education about DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). In the first part of this episode, Jade shares her story and how she came to understand that the puzzling gaps and often frightening incongruities in her life were caused by her rotating through a number of dissociated identities or alters, initially protecting her… but eventually leaving her powerless to stop repeated traumatization. Jade and Dr. H t...
Parenting through the storm-- Adoption, trauma, acceptance, and humility (01:01:04)
BFTA storyteller Frank shares the joy, confusion, chaos, utter fear, and deepest gratitude when he and his partner Brad adopted and raised two boys, ages 4 and 2, from the foster care system. Twenty years ago, when Frank adopted the boys, trauma was not in the public awareness as it is today, and he was told that these little boys, who had spent some time in a meth house, might well have some challenges…..but he never could have expected what awaited. Can love overcome trauma? Can stability a...
When our minds forget our bodies remember-- A trauma therapist comes back to life (01:13:41)
Rachael, a trauma therapist and today's storyteller, describes how her early childhood abuse was buried by the protective mechanism of dissociative amnesia. As Rachael wrote to Dr. H, “The only way I could continue to live, with no way out, with no one to tell, with no words even to describe what was happening to me, was to forget what was happening to me….when our minds forget, our bodies remember.” Rachael saved herself by forgetting, then was forced to finally face what happened to h...
Treatment-resistant bipolar disorder-- Finding stability at last (00:54:40)
This story is a mirror to Elizabeth’s story from season 1 episode 1. Today’s storyteller Sarah was so moved by Elizabeth’s story that it helped her to trust Dr. H's recommendation to take a pretty scary medication, the extremely powerful antipsychotic and mood stabilizer called clozapine. So why tell this story again? As they say, history doesn’t repeat itself, but it does often rhyme, and Sarah’s story rhymes beautifully with Elizabeth’s. Both had severe and treatment resistant bipolar...
Hiding in plain sight-- Life, work, and therapy on the autistic spectrum (01:05:04)
In today’s story we explore what it’s like to be on the autistic spectrum, and more specifically, how a later life diagnosis can totally change the way you view the world and yourself. Aurelie, our storyteller today, was an autism expert, a clinical psychologist who had trained with some of the premier autism experts in the country…yet she didn’t discover her own autism until she was 40 years old. This episode explores why women on the spectrum are so often missed, how women on th...
Trapped in secrecy and shame-- A boy, his coach, and healing trauma with MDMA (01:36:25)
How do you rebuild trust amidst the ashes of trauma? This is the story of Sean, an up and coming star tennis player whose coach carefully selected him and then groomed him for years of sexual assault. His trust destroyed, Sean had to find a way to try to trust again…..and after many years of hiding and pretending and near self-destruction, Sean finally was able to share the details of what happened to him. Thus began his therapeutic journey of finding compassion for himself and trust toward o...
BFTA Summer Special-- The Wisdom of the Psychedelic Therapy Underground (01:01:39)
In this fourth annual summer psychedelic special, Dr. H sits down to hear some hard-earned wisdom from a therapist colleague who has been doing underground MDMA and psilocybin work for years. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-ar...
Chris, Craig, and Special Guest Fish in Fishbowl 6 (01:51:33)
Chris and Craig invite Antonio Sacre, an LA-based professional storyteller, author, and BFTA super-advisor into the Fishbowl to deconstruct season 6. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Suppo...
Psychiatric Nurse Practitioners in the Treatment Landscape (01:02:13)
Craig sits down with his mentee and colleague Mandy Bliss, a psychiatric NP in Louisville KY, to explore the compelling and complex challenges of meeting the ever-expanding need for psychiatric care. Unlike in psychiatric residencies, much of the current training of psychiatric NPs is done online. Does this constitute adequate training? And what of psychotherapy? Mandy Bliss MSN, APRN, FNP-BC, PMHNP-BC https://blisspsych.com/ BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craig...
The Enneagram in the Therapeutic Relationship (01:18:09)
Craig sits down with Colorado-based psychotherapist and Enneagram expert Joy Gribble (Elemental Psychedelics; Reflective Healing) to explore how the Enneagram can predict the strengths, fears, and blind spots of both the therapist and the client/patient in the complex dynamics of therapy. Joy Gribble https://www.reflectivehealing.com/about-joy-gribble-fort-collins "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr....
Meds can't fill the trauma hole-- Attachment, maternal wounding, and the challenges of coming off meds (00:54:53)
Here Dr. H sits down with Lisa, a pediatric nurse practitioner, to witness her story of developmental trauma, concomitant chronic depression, and eventually her path of healing and rebuilding trust and connection, largely through psychotherapy. During her years of intermittently crippling and suicidal depression, she was put on various psych meds, which might have helped at the time, but later became shockingly difficult to try to taper and stop. This is a story of overcoming shame, a s...
Desperately seeking safety -- A trauma healing journey with Koelle Simpson (02:05:54)
Craig sits down with Colorado-based equine and somatic therapist Koelle Simpson to witness her harrowing and moving story of healing from repeated sexual assaults through a deep psychospiritual connection with horses, then learning how to trust her male psychotherapist, and finally coming to face the darkness and shame head on through the use of psilocybin mushrooms. A heads up-- this episode contains graphic descriptions of sexual assault, please be mindful of whether this is the right time ...
The Art of Deprescribing (00:22:39)
Dr. H breaks down the complex task of deprescribing into six clear steps, starting with the most important and challenging question of all: Who is the patient and why are they suffering? "Bringing Therapy into Med Management"-- a psychotherapy training intensive with Dr. H for psych NPs and PAs this October in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/training/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast https://www.instagram.com/backfromtheabysspodcast/ BFTA/ Dr. H https://www.craigh...
Developing field awareness: Working with transference and countertransference (01:10:36)
This is an interview that Dr. H recently did on a podcast called "The Web: Weaving Psychology and Soul in Circle" where he goes deep into his own journey learning how to work with transference and countertransference. Carrie Haynes and "The Web" https://carriehayneslpc.com/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-yo...
Sex Hormones and Psychiatric Illness with Dr. Neill Epperson (01:03:40)
Dr. H sits down with Dr. Neill Epperson, chair of the University of Colorado Department of Psychiatry, to talk all things hormonal. "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" A intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, May 28-30 in Victoria BC https://www.eventbrite.com/e/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom-tickets-1112117516429?aff=ebdssbdestsearch BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast https://www.instagram.com/backfromtheabysspodcast/ ...
Adventures in Exposure Therapy (Re-release) (00:44:49)
This is a re-release of an episode called "Adventures in Exposure Therapy" which first published in 2020. That episode was the second of a two part exploration of OCD, the first episode was called "OCD in the Time of Corona." In brief, "OCD in the Time of Corona" was the story of Dr. H's patient Erin, who suffered from disabling OCD that focused on a catastrophizing fear of cold sores and the herpes virus. Dr. H initially treated Erin, then referred her to Dr. Amy Indermuehle, a CO base...
Can MDMA save a marriage? One couple's story (00:53:04)
Today’s story is the story of so many marriages— starting off with hope and excitement, then settling into careers and kids and unforeseen challenges, then facing emerging disenchantment and mounting frustrations, then maybe even reaching a breaking point, where the marriage seems unable to withstand all the stuff life is throwing in its path. For Daniel and Mindy, their initial years of love and hope and adventure were slowly buried by layers of physical and emotional pain...
Psychedelics, psychiatric meds, and the question of tapering (00:18:06)
One of the more interesting and difficult challenges of integrating psychedelics into psychiatry is how to deal with the fact that so many of the folks who will seek out care for their treatment-resistant depression or OCD or body dysmorphia or PTSD or attachment trauma are on psychiatric meds, many of which can have very significant and even dangerous interactions with certain psychedelics. Here Dr. H explores some of the key issues around med tapering with ketamine, psilocybin, and MDMA, i...
In the room with Hillary McBride and Saj Razvi--- A moment to moment exploration of psychedelic somatic trauma therapy (01:05:00)
Saj Razvi and Hillary McBride return to BFTA, this time together, for one of the most compelling and fascinating episodes we have featured on the podcast-- an in depth, in the room exploration of the moment to moment unfolding of a psychedelic-assisted trauma session. During her training to work with Saj’’s psychedelic somatic model, called PSIP, Hillary did a profound session with Saj that led to some very unexpected gifts for Hillary. Interestingly, the psychedelic used for this sessi...
Recognizing and Treating OCD (00:21:48)
In this solo episode, Craig synthesizes the most salient aspects of identifying and treating OCD, with some cool musical interludes to boot-- in just over 20 minutes! "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" A intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, May 28-30 in Victoria BC https://www.eventbrite.com/e/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom-tickets-1112117516429?aff=ebdssbdestsearch BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast https://www.insta...
Therapists in the abyss: A journey back to self (01:12:52)
You don't end up working in psychiatry/mental health by accident-- therapists and psychiatrists almost always come from their own place of emotional pain. Here Dr. H sits down with his colleague Kristen, a well-respected Colorado psychotherapist who always appeared to have it all together, while battling her own inner demons of feeling like a fraud-- broken, unworthy, irredeemable. This is Kristen's story of finding a way through her double life, of coming to peace with what she survive...
What I'm thinking about now: Working in the Here and Now; Polypharmacy; Diagnostic Parsimony; Ketamine Microdosing; Psych NP Training (00:23:56)
In this solo episode Dr. H shares his current thoughts on working in the here and now; polypharmacy; the root causes of suicidality; diagnostic parsimony ; ketamine microdosing; and online psych NP training programs. BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast https://www.instagram.com/backfromtheabysspodcast/ BFTA/ Dr. H https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show
Reconstructing the narrative-- Trauma, dissociation, psychedelics, and working in the negative transference (01:20:00)
Kate lived for many years in a hazy and numbing dialectic, thinking that her life was “perfect”, but also having a vague and gnawing sense that just under the surface something was terribly wrong. This is a story of forgetting and remembering, a story of finding a therapist who was willing and able to sit through years of hateful negative transference and let Kate work through her parent-child wounds. And finally this is a story of MDMA and psilocybin helping someone move forward ...
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