114. The Three Stages of Respect Every Stepmom Needs to Know About! (00:22:13)
This episode began life as a livestream in my free Facebook community of 1400 members, The Essential Stepmom. If you're not already there, please join us!https://www.facebook.com/groups/theessentialstepmomIf there are any top takeaways from this episode, it would be these:1. You can arrange your household and family dynamics to make it more conducive to you getting the respect you want.2. If you're feeling disrespected, you probably need to bite the bullet and look to your partner to fill that need.3. If you want to fix this problem so that you never feel disrespected again, in any situation, there's only one thing to be done. If you're ready for high-level support getting solid with #3, you know where to find me - info@essentialstepmom.com.
113. Feelings of Worthlessness And How To Bust Them. (00:21:08)
Feelings of worthlessness seemingly arise for stepmoms from the daily realities of life - no established place inside the family dynamic, giving up much of your time and privacy within your home, not being appreciated for many of the things you do for the stepkids and not knowing how to address parenting issues with your partner.
But what if you've unconsiously moved toward situations in life that would act to confirm the way you already feel inside?
In this episode I talk about how the step-parenting journey can be seen as a prompt to upgrade yourself and your self-concept as a human being.
It's time to claim your value, don't wait for anyone else to give it to you.
Book a free call with Tracy and find out if 1:1 coaching or any of her recorded video programs would be a good fit for you!
bit.ly/CALLTRACY
112. Tammy Cohen: Text Messages To My Sons (00:54:43)
Tammy Cohen, brand messaging consultant and founder of the Women Beyond the Table Business Network is the author of Text Messages To My Kids, a book brimming with inspiration for how you (or your partner) can begin, renew or truly uplevel your connection with kids - especially those who don't live with you or who are in a phase of life where they don't seem open to hearing from you. By going where they are - ie., on their phones - you can meet them in familiar territory and get their attention in a new way. In our conversation, I highlight 10 different strategies Tammy used that any dad (or stepmom) can copy or adapt to suit their own family situation and fill a communication gap with love, attention, security and trust.
Text Messages To My Sons: Connecting Deeply In A World of Devices is a BookFest award winner and Next Generation Indie Book Awards finalist. It's a must read for anyone looking to build a deeper connection with their loved ones!
Contact Tammy at:
www.tcbrandconsulting.com
Instagram: @textmessagestomysons
Facebook.com/Textmessagestomysons
Facebook.com@tammyjcohen
www.linkedin.com/in/tammy-cohen-915815143
tammy@tcbrandconsulting.com
111. Step-couple triggers with Dr. Jessica Higgins (00:42:22)
Dr. Jessica Higgins is the host of the Empowered Relationship Podcast, check it out here: https://drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/
Dr. Jessica has a free resource available called "Shifting Criticism for Connected Communication" which you can access right here: https://drjessicahiggins.com/shifting-criticism-for-connected-communication
Tracy Poizner also offers dad-specific advice for parenting through and around parental alienation and other problems of post-divorce family life via the UnDeletable Dad podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/undeletable-dad/id1592210062
You can find a range of courses and programs at https://undeletabledad.com
Reach out to Tracy with comments or questions any time at info@essentialstepmom.com
110. The Magical Apology (00:17:53)
If your partner is struggling to connect, or to re-connect with an alienated teenager, make sure he registers for LIONTAMER, my new 6-week intensive for dads. He'll learn to deftly guide his wandering teen back into their natural state of loving attachment and loyalty to him.
Here's the link: https://essential-training.thrivecart.com/liontamer/
You can also learn more by emailing me at tracy@undeletabledad.com.
109. Nail your timing. (00:41:38)
OK, this is a bit of a weird episode - it's actually the audio from a livestream video I did in my Spectacular Stepmom Facebook group. I'm talking about how to get better at knowing exactly when to say your peace and when to hold back - when to act and when to wait. This is all about the shadow and power archetypes, and about the real difference between logic and magic.
I offer a unique style of coaching for couples where you work with me individually on alternating weeks. Email me for more information at info@essentialstepmom.com
108. This is the end of Parental Alienation. (00:16:59)
Legacy Mastermind is exclusively for the divorced dad who feels helpless against the ongoing high-conflict that's drawing his children away from him. In this program he will be coded to strike the tone of fatherhood and develop the magnetic quality that will draw his kids back into his orbit and keep them there forever. It starts this week, Feb. 17th. There's still time to join - apply by email to info@essentialstepmom.com.
107 You're not crazy - magic is real. (00:09:51)
Join my Facebook group, The Spectacular Stepmom!
You can reach me any time at info@essentialstepmom.com.
Don't forget to check out the UnDeletable Dad podcast too!
Here's a little free advice for you: 3 SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL STEPMOMS!
https://tracypoizner.lpages.co/3-secrets-of-successful-stepmoms
106 It smells like home! (00:13:37)
Just two more days left to register! Restorative Parenting for Divorced Dads begins Wednesday November 2.
By Christmas, you could become that dad who knows the trick to following through on what he says without using heavy-handed parenting tactics, how to get rules made that your kids will actually follow (it's true!) and to make sure that your kids really feel safe, loved and seen with you, no matter what they hear from their mom!
Go to bit.ly/dadcodes to register. Upgrade to the VIP package for unlimited 1:1 support from me over Voxer - I'll personally walk you through all the implementation so you don't fall through the cracks!
105 The Alienated Stepmom (00:12:22)
Want to learn how to get through to kids who are being brainwashed about you? Sign up for my FREE 3-part workshop October 27-29, 2021 called Reversing Parental Alienation.
Go to bit.ly/alienationstrategy to register and don't forget to join the private Facebook group just for this event!
You can always reach me at info@essentialstepmom.com. Limited 1:1 coaching spots are still available.
104. SURPRISE! (00:10:53)
Welcome to Episode 1 of the Undeletable Dad Podcast!
You can find it on Anchor.fm/undeletabledad and very soon it will be found on all your favorite platforms.
Here's the link to sign up for Restorative Parenting:
bit.ly/dadcodes
You can reach me at tracy@undeletabledad.com
ESP 103 Nacho Role-play with Lori Sims (part 3) (00:23:49)
Lori Sims runs the Nacho Kids Academy - sign up with this link and she'll send a portion of your fee right back here to support this podcast!
Click here: https://nachokidsacademy.com/theessentialstepmom
Sign up at bit.ly/tracysummit for the Ultimate Stepfamily Summit!
ESP 102: Nacho Role-play with Lori Sims (Part 2) (00:21:42)
"I thought David was a pretty good parent - until we got married!"
Here's a link to the episode with Lori's husband David: https://anchor.fm/essentialstepmom/episodes/ESP-6-3-David-Sims---Pulling-it-out-of-the-fire-elkg5g
I do a livestream video every Monday in my Facebook group The Spectacular Stepmom. Tomorrow's session (Monday Sept 13) at 1pm EDT is called Bouncing Back From Stepmom Burnout - Before It's Too Late. Join the group by sending a join request to facebook.com/groups/thespectacularstepmom or email me at info@essentialstepmom.com to ask for a link to the replay.
Sign up for the Ultimate Stepfamily Summit at bit.ly/tracysummit. It's FREE!
ESP 101: "Nacho" role-play with Lori Sims (part one) (00:16:36)
It's a Nacho Role-play with Lori Sims, the original Nacho Mama! You can learn more at nachokids.com.
Sign up for the Ultimate Stepfamily Summit (Sept 15-17) at bit.ly/tracysummit
Would you be so kind as to pop over to Apple podcasts and leave a quick review? If you screenshot it and send it to me at info@essentialstepmom.com, you can win a 60 minute coaching with me!
ESP 11.3 EPISODE 100! Part 3 of my chat with Seth Nelson about what really matters. (00:17:40)
Here are some highlights of today's conversation with Seth Nelson:
1:10 - when Seth got divorced, the law required one parent was named the primary residential, the other was secondary. In the end, it’s all about your ego, it’s just a label.
5:25 - On frequency of visits, it's often better to have more visits for a shorter time, especially for younger kids.
7:25 - 95% of the time you have with your child is before they’re 18!
You can find Seth's podcast at How To Split A Toaster - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-split-a-toaster-a-divorce-podcast-about/id1527497405 and his website is https://nelsonkoster.com
Register now for the Ultimate Stepfamily Summit at bit.ly/tracysummit
ESP 11.2 Attorney Seth Nelson: Should you settle for 60/40? (00:18:12)
This is part 2 of my 3-part conversation with Florida-based family law attorney Seth Nelson. Listen at 2:20 to hear Seth describe the the 3 worlds in which he lives as a divorce attorney, at 5:25 to learn about the many categories that courts consider (Factors A, B, C....all the way to Factor T!) and 10:10 to hear his take on why 60/40 might be better for you, even if you're getting the short end of the stick.
Seth's podcast is How To Split A Toaster - you can find it here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-split-a-toaster-a-divorce-podcast-about/id1527497405
His website is https://nelsonkoster.com/
Sign up for the Ultimate Stepfamily Summit at https://bit.ly/tracysummit
This is episode 99 of the Essential Stepmom podcast! In honour of reaching our 100th episode tomorrow, I'm hosting a contest! Give this podcast a review on Apple podcasts and win a chance for a free 60-minute coaching with me - alone, or with your partner! Just find us on Apple podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/essential-stepmom-podcast/id1466706524, write a brief review, screenshot it and email it to me at info@essentialstepmom.com. Can't wait to see yours there!
ESP 11.1 Divorce Attorney Seth Nelson (00:15:45)
"Live your life, not your divorce!"
Seth's podcast is called "How To Split A Toaster: A divorce podcast about saving your relationships". Here's a link to the show on Apple podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-split-a-toaster-a-divorce-podcast-about/id1527497405
You can contact Seth's office in Tampa, Florida via his website, https://nelsonkoster.com
Sign up for The Ultimate Stepmfamily Summit with my link to get my special registration bonus, access to over 50 of my stepmom video tutorials!
Click here: https://bit.ly/tracysummit
My gift is crafting ingenious parenting/custody/life strategies for the divorced dad. Contact me at info@essentialstepmom.com for more information about my comprehensive 6-month 1:1 Undeletable Dad coaching offer.
ESP 10.6 Anna De Acosta in conversation (00:44:17)
Visit Anna's website at https://annadeacosta.com.
The Ultimate Stepfamily Summit is happening from September 15-17. It's FREE! Sign up now at bit.ly/tracysummit to get my special bonus offer of lifetime access to my library of over 50 Livestream stepmom tutorial videos! You'll never be at a loss for something to listen to again!
ESP 10.5 The Loyalty Bind, and what to do about it. (00:29:45)
Loyalty is one of the most misunderstood topics in the stepfamily world. I believe it's something much more fundamental than wondering which parent to believe, or visit, or like.
This episode has been pulled from a live video I did a while back into my two Facebook groups - The Spectacular Stepmom and One For The Dads. If you'd like to belong to a positive, bash-free community, I invite you to join us there. Just send a join request to either group. With apologies for the gendered group names, same sex families are very welcome in both places.
To register for the Ultimate Stepfamily Summit coming up from Sept 15-17, use this link to qualify for my special bonus!
bit.ly/tracysummit
If you'd like to apply for Undeletable Dad, my 6-month 1:1 coaching program for divorced dads, send a message to my private email address - info@essentialstepmom.com for more details.
ESP 10.4 What your therapist doesn't 'get' about your family. (00:16:37)
Does my advice on stepfamily life conflict with what you're hearing from your counsellor or therapist? I'm not surprised, LOL! That's because they're not trained in the area of step-families and they still believe that all families follow the same kind of natural law.
Family Constellation Therapy was created by Bert Hellinger. My favourite book on this topic is by Jakob Schneider - it seems to be out of print but the Kindle edition is available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Family-Constellations-Basic-Principles-Procedures-ebook/dp/B08LVN84JX
Reach out to me for a link to watch my video on some specifics of how to start making a new family. You can reach me at info@essentialstepmom.com or just click on this link to watch:
https://vimeo.com/582244288/50e57d5d98
I'd love to chat with you about my 1:1 coaching for dads. Email me at info@essentialstepmom.com or visit my calendar to book a call at bit.ly/CALLTRACY
ESP 10.3 Boundaries: The Bricks and Mortar Edition. (00:16:16)
Want to know more about exactly how to make those boundaries you wish you had? Here are my top 5 tools for making better boundaries with your ex, your kids, even your spouse.
I love hearing from you - let me know what you think about this, or just reach out to me any time at info@essentialstepmom.com
If you're a divorced dad wanting to rescue your relationship with your kids, or to learn how to parent in this upside-down family dynamic where the kids have way too much power, or to be ready to totally slay any attempt to reduce your custody or visitation, or to protect your personal finances from being shredded over the next 10-15 years, talk to me about my 6-month 1:1 coaching experience for dads. It's a significant investment, but your ROI will be absolutely spectacular! Set up a complimentary chat at bit.ly/CALLTRACY
ESP 10.2 Why don't you have better boundaries? (00:17:42)
Everything comes down to boundaries. I'll break this apart and show you why yours aren't doing the job.
Do you know a divorced dad who wants to protect his relationship with his kids and maximize his ability to raise them the way he wants? Maybe he'd also like to keep his finances from getting shredded over the long haul of a high conflict "co-parenting" environment? Invite him to book a time on my calendar at bit.ly/CALLTRACY and we can talk about my 6-month comprehensive 1:1 coaching offer for Undeletable Dads!
ESP 10.1 Raising a step child on the Autism Spectrum with Dr. Sonia Cann-Milland (00:37:35)
You can contact Dr. Sonia via her webiste, http://renewedbeliefs.com
Her research paper about autism and stepfamilies can be accessed via Google Scholar or with this link:
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0192513X20959109p
You can reach me on my private email at info@essentialstepmom.com.
If your husband/boyfriend/partner is looking for help to get his high-conflict custody or parenting situation under control, he might be interested in my premium 6-month coaching offer that includes 1:1 sessions, unlimited Voxer support and my signature tool for establishing himself as an engaged and competent parent before the courts. Set up a no-obligation call to learn more and see if we'd be a good fit to tackle this project together! http://bit.ly/CALLTRACY
ESP 9.9 Peter Maestrey exposes the unspoken rule (00:40:41)
This is part two of my conversation with filmmaker Peter Maestrey about his journey through and past divorce. He shares how he dealt with other people telling him how to feel about his divorce and how he got on with creating the life he's always wanted.
Peter's podcast is called Divorce - The First Six Months and you can find it through his website, https://divorcethefirstsix.
You can reach me on my private email info@essentialstepmom or tracy@undeletabledad.com.
Coaching is available for stepmoms, and dads can access my exclusive 6-month parenting strategy program, Undeletable Dad.
Call me to learn more: bit.ly/CALLTRACY
ESP 9.8 Peter Maestrey on Divorce - The First Six Months (00:29:59)
Peter Maestrey is an award-winning filmmaker and producer. He's also the host of a podcast called Divorce - The First Six Months. You can find him at divorcethefirstsix.com
The Visible Man Discord is open to men and women who want to have spontaneous, respectful, private conversations about how to recover and move on from the really big shit. There's also a pretty good poker game and some fantasy football, I'm told! Go to bit.ly/visiblemandiscord
You can reach me any time on my personal and private email info@essentialstepmom.com, or at tracy@undeletabledad.com.
I offer individual coaching for stepmoms, and a 6-month in-depth program for dads covering parenting strategy as well as custody planning and protection of financial resources. Learn more at undeletabledad.com
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