Utah Foster Care guides real and raw conversations about parenting for bio, foster, adoptive or blended families to increase understanding of issues we all experience as families. Utah Foster Care's mission is to develop innovative strategies to help recruit, train, and retain foster families.
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Podcast: Fostering Conversations
Host: Amy Smith
Guest: Dave, Owner of Dave’s Auto
Episode Summary
In this heartfelt episode, Amy sits down with Dave Bell from Dave’s Auto Center to discuss his incredible journey of giving back to the community through Utah Foster Care and other charitable initiatives. Dave shares the deeply personal story of his mother’s childhood in an orphanage, how that shaped his values, and why supporting foster families and children is so meaningful to him. From partnering with Mountain America Credit Union to organizing a massive community Christmas event, Dave’s passion for service shines through every story.
Key Topics Covered
Dave’s Background: From starting his auto shop in a storage unit to building a successful business over 36 years.
Personal Connection: How his mother’s experience as an orphan inspired his commitment to foster care.
The Power of Service: Why giving back changes lives—both for those who receive and those who give.
Community Christmas Event: Details about the annual Family Community Christmas in Farmington, serving thousands of families with food, clothing, toys, and holiday cheer.
Encouragement for Listeners: Practical ways to get involved and make a lasting impact during the holiday season.
Memorable Quotes
“Service is a dividend that pays double.” – Dave
“Be careful what you fill your mind with—your life depends on it.” – Dave
“One caring adult can make all the difference.” – Amy
Resources & Links
Utah Foster Care: utahfostercare.org
Family Community Christmas (Farmington, UT): December 20th at Farmington Fair Park
Mountain America Credit Union: macu.com
Call to Action
Want to make this holiday season meaningful? Join the Family Community Christmas event or support foster families in your area. Your time and kindness can change lives.
Transcript:
Amy: Welcome to Fostering Conversations.
I’m your host, Amy Smith. Today we have Dave with Dave’s Auto,
Thank you so much for joining our podcast today. We’re excited to chat with you.
Dave: I’m happy to be here. Thank you.
Amy: So let’s start off by just introducing yourself, you know, what’s a little bit of your background and how did you get involved with Utah Foster Care?
Dave: my background is, I’ve been a mechanic my whole life since I was 15. So that’s 50 years now. And I started the business here in Utah in 1990. So we’re starting our 36th year this year. And started in a storage unit in the dead of winter with no heat. And Lord, I’ve been very blessed.
So that’s a little bit about me and where I came from and why I’ve gotta shop. Mountain American Credit Union came to me last year, a little before Christmas, and asked me to collaborate with them with Utah Foster Care. And I was so honored to do it, and they didn’t even know it.
They just came to me because they wanted a a working kind of guy to be part of their ad campaign and everything. And then through, meeting the people and you know, talking to Utah foster care and everything a story came up and that story is probably why this is so near and dear to me, but no one knew that.
But it’s unusual how people will get put in your life or you’ll get put in people’s lives and then it’s an answer to somebody’s prayer. You know, for me it’s an answer to my prayer ’cause I can give back. I’ve been so blessed in my life. And I hope that in some way t...
Ep 65: Blocked Care (00:31:38)
In this episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith talks with Utah Foster Care clinical support specialist and LCSW Les Harris about blocked care: why it happens, how it impacts foster parents, and practical steps to restore connection. Les explains how chronic stress can suppress the parenting response system, making it difficult to feel joy or affection toward a child, even when we deeply care. They discuss what blocked care looks like, why it’s different from burnout, how small “doses” of positive interaction can rebuild connection, and why acceptance, playfulness, curiosity, and empathy are powerful tools for healing relationships.
Resources mentioned in this episode
Brain-Based Parenting by Daniel Hughes & Jonathan Baylin
What Happened to You? by Dr. Bruce Perry & Oprah Winfrey
Utah Foster Care Clinical Support Services
Transcript:
Amy: On today’s episode, we’re talking to Les Harris, a Utah foster care clinical support specialist, and LCSW about blocked care and how it affects foster parents. Welcome to Fostering Conversations. I’m your host, Amy Smith. Today we have Les Harris who works for Utah Foster Care as the clinical support specialist, and also is an LCSW. Welcome Les.
Les: Thank you. Happy to be here.
Amy: Today we’re excited to be talking about blocked care. Blocked care really affects foster parents, but it affects all parents. So will you give us the dumb down version of what blocked care is?
Les: It’s one of those terms that’s relatively recent in the trauma informed literature, even though we know it’s been around forever. So it’s often used in, as you said, in foster care, adoptive care and in parenting in general. It’s a, it’s refers to the chronic stress that often comes with working with children with difficult emotions and behaviors, and forces the parent then to shut down emotionally and almost stop caring about the child.
It’s and in other words, they no longer find joy in parenting,
and that’s one of the most common outcomes where. Foster and adoptive parents, when they get pushed emotionally, their own parenting response system starts to shut down, and the next thing they know, they don’t even want to be around the child
anymore. And so that’s the basic definition but there’s so much more to it in the context of why does that happen? What do I do about it when it happens? And so on and so forth. So we’ll probably get into to more of that as we go.
Amy: Yeah, I know that when I started fostering, I had never heard that term. It was very interesting to me to learn about it from you and from different classes and things that I went to as a foster parent to, to understand that. So maybe we can just start, by talking about what are some of the reasons why a parent might be facing blocked care?
Les: Yes. I think that’s important because once we have a bit of awareness about the underlying causes and why it’s happening, then it gives me at least some information I could use to, to change some things about my approach to parenting, some of the most difficult children that will ever encounter. So, Let me go back.
I’m gonna get back to basics. Talk a little bit about. The idea that all humans, are born with an instinct, as we get older, particularly, and you can even see this in young children, but particularly as we start to get a certain age, we start to, that nurtur...
Ep 64: Building Care Communities (00:28:10)
In this episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith welcomes Utah’s First Lady Abby Cox to announce the statewide launch of the Care Communities program. After a successful two-year pilot with Utah Foster Care, Care Communities are expanding across the state to provide essential support for foster families and children in care.
Abby shares how this initiative was born out of a desire to strengthen foster care in Utah and ensure that every child has a safe and supportive environment. The Care Communities model surrounds each foster family with 8–10 trained volunteers who provide emotional support, physical assistance, and trauma-informed care. This helps foster parents feel less isolated and ensures children in care have healthy, lasting connections with caring adults.
Key highlights from this episode:
Statewide Care Communities launch – a first-of-its-kind effort in Utah.
The top three benefits foster families experience: emotional support, physical help, and positive impact on children.
How Care Communities prevent burnout and keep families fostering longer.
Success stories from the pilot program, including mentorship moments, adoption celebrations, and lifelong community bonds.
Practical ways listeners can get involved, even if they aren’t able to foster themselves.
Abby emphasizes that Care Communities not only support foster families but also give children the community connections they desperately need. This initiative is backed by faith organizations, nonprofits, local businesses, and state agencies—all working together to improve outcomes for Utah’s most vulnerable kids.
Learn more or sign up at utahcarecommunities.org
Explore Utah Foster Care programs at utahfostercare.org
Transcript
Fostering Conversations Podcast
Episode 64: Building Care Communities
Amy: Thanks for joining us for Fostering Conversations. I’m your host, Amy Smith, and today we have our amazing guest and First Lady Abby Cox. Thanks for joining us, Abby.
Abby: Thanks so much for having me.
Amy: So we are excited. Today is a special episode because, there is an exciting announcement that Abby is going to share with us.
So go ahead and share that with us and we’ll dive in.
Abby: we are super excited to announce that we are having a statewide launch of our Care Communities program. So we have been doing a two year pilot, around this Care Communities program. We’ve had. Great successes. We’ve had some incredible stories. we are thrilled with the outcomes, frankly, of what we’ve been seeing, and we are ready to launch statewide, which is very exciting.
Amy: It is so exciting and honestly for me as a former employee, this is flown by, so I can’t believe it’s already out of the two year pilot and ready to go, so that’s exciting. So would you just tell us a little bit about why you started the Care Communities program, why you joined up with Utah Foster Care to create this specific program?
Abby: Yeah, so when I got into this position,and wanted to see where in child welfare, really didn’t know that much about it, but knew that I wanted to, see if there was. Somewhere that I could have an impact or that my team could really maybe help in ways that, that some of the other organizations needed.
And so for us, it was, it really was a learning thing. and the more I got into it, and the more I started learning about it, the more, I learned great organizations...
Ep 63: Native Voices (00:29:22)
In this episode of Fostering Conversations, guest host Liz Rivera guides a powerful dialogue with Native leaders and advocates about the importance of culture, tradition, and belonging for Native children in foster care.
You’ll hear from:
James Toledo (Utah Division of Indian Affairs) on how culture provides a foundation for resilience.
Stephanie Benally (Native American Specialist, Utah Foster Care) on supporting Native children’s traditions in foster homes.
Craig Sandoval (Urban Indian Center of Salt Lake) on creating culturally responsive models for Native youth and families in urban Utah.
Together, they reflect on the sacred role of clans, ceremonies, and language, as well as the ongoing significance of the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA) in preserving tribal sovereignty and protecting children’s cultural identity.
Listeners will learn why everyday practices—from observing ceremonies to speaking Native languages—help children thrive, and how foster parents can honor and support these connections, even outside of tribal communities.
Transcript:
Liz: [00:00:00] On today’s episode, you’ll hear how cultural traditions give Native children strength and belonging, and why the Indian Child Welfare Act or ICWA is so critical , in protecting those connections for children in foster care. Welcome to Fostering Conversations. I’m your host, Liz Rivera, filling in for Amy Smith. We have a special episode for you today. We’re weaving together conversations with several native leaders and advocates here in Utah.
Liz: Let’s begin with introductions in Navajo culture, introductions are not just about your name, they’re about where you come from, your clans, your language, and [00:01:00] lineage. First, we’ll hear from James Toledo from the Utah Division of Indian Affairs, followed by Stephanie Benally, the Native American specialist from Utah Foster Care, and finally, from Craig Sandoval from the Urban Indian Center of Salt Lake.
James: Ya, uh, James Toledo
James: and, and again. Thank you. I, I’m a member of the Navajo Nation and we introduce ourselves, sharing our clans. So as we probably will talk about this later in the program, our clans are a way to identify our family relationships, connections with others within our community.
Stephanie: Hello. Thank you. I am a citizen of Navajo Nation. My clans are Red Streak people born for Bitter Water. My maternal grandfather is Mexican People clan, and my paternal grandfather is Red House. Thank you very much for the opportunity to participate on the podcast.
Craig: Hello everybody, and wanted [00:02:00] to introduce myself and my native language. First [Navajo introduction].
Craig: So I introduced myself in my native Navajo language. Just wanted to reintroduce myself in English for all the non Navajo speakers. Good day to everybody. My name is Craig Sandoval, and I’m originally from New Mexico in a small community named Pueblo Pintado, New Mexico. So it’s [00:03:00] just west of Albuquerque, made about two hours.
Craig: And my clans are Near the Water People. I’m born for the Mexican clan. My maternal grandparents are the Red Paint People, and my paternal grandparents are the Towering House People. And so that’s who I am, and that’s where I come from. And then now I’m here in Salt Lake working to p...
Ep 62: Aging Out Strong (00:28:27)
In this powerful episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith sits down with Sheri, a resilient young woman who aged out of Utah’s foster care system and is now thriving as a leader at Angels Landing Foundation. Sheri shares her deeply personal story from entering foster care at age 12 after bravely reporting abuse, to cycling through 13 foster homes, and ultimately finding healing, empowerment, and purpose.
Listeners will gain insight into:
The emotional reality of sibling separation in care
The challenges of instability and aging out alone
The importance of supportive adults and safe spaces
How Angels Landing Foundation is transforming outcomes for aged-out foster youth
Sheri’s journey highlights the real-world impact of organizations like Angels Landing, which provide community, mental health support, life skills training, and financial empowerment to young adults aged 18–26 transitioning out of care.
Resources Mentioned:
Angels Landing Foundation: angelslandingfoundation.org
Follow Angels Landing on Instagram: @angelslandingfoundation
Big Brothers Big Sisters of America: bbbs.org
Learn About Foster Care in Utah: utahfostercare.org
Transcript:
Episode 62: Aging Out Strong
Amy: Thank you for joining us for Fostering Conversations. I’m your host, Amy Smith. Today we have Sheri who grew up in foster care and aged out of the foster care system. She currently works at Angels Landing, and we’re so excited to have her with us today. Thanks, Sheri.
Sheri: Thank you.
Amy: You have a really incredible story and I’m sure filled with also a lot of heartache and pain as well. So we wanna be sensitive to that. But would you just start by introducing yourself?
Sheri: Absolutely. [00:01:00] Like you said, my name’s Sheri. I’m 23 years old. Gonna be turning 24 this year and I , work at Angels Landing. I, that’s like the best introduction I think I’ve got.
Amy: I love it. So tell us a little bit what Angel’s Landing is for those who don’t know.
Sheri: So Angels Landing is a nonprofit organization that serves young adults from eighteen to to 26. And our mission statement is Angels Landing builds community centered on empowering young adults transitioning from foster care to achieve self-sufficiency and create a life that they love. And so that is absolutely something that I needed when I aged out of foster care. And it’s been an absolute great opportunity and another resource as someone who doesn’t have tons of resources, and especially that family unit. Having another spot is always something that creates [00:02:00] So much support in my life. And so Angel’s Landing been great and I’m excited to, to dive into what that looks like.
Amy: I love that. So maybe start by telling us a little bit about your story and how you found.
Sheri: I aged into foster care when I was 12 years old. My mom passed away when I was three and a half, and so she passed away in a car accident on Valentine’s Day,
Amy: Oh man.
Sheri: so it’s the love day. So I try to always look at it like all the positives, right? But yep. Lost my mom at thre...
Ep 61: Support Through Service (00:26:38)
In this episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith and co-host Tami Carson welcome Melina Moore, Utah Foster Care’s Volunteer Services Manager. Melina shares how individuals and organizations can support foster families across the state—not by fostering, but by volunteering.
Learn how opportunities like Kids’ Night Out, Service Saturdays, and event support offer much-needed connection and respite to foster families. Hear inspiring stories of volunteers making balloon animals, leading pottery nights, or helping families with yard work. Plus, discover how simple acts of service—like assembling connection kits or hosting mindfulness events—can make a lasting impact.
Whether you’re a student, parent, professional, or business owner, there’s a role for you. Find out how volunteers create meaningful connection and contribute to the wellbeing of children and families in foster care.
Volunteer with Utah Foster Care: https://utahfostercare.org/get-involved/volunteer/ Learn about Care Communities: https://mycarecommunity.com
Key Topics:
Why connection and childcare are essential for foster families
Types of volunteer roles across Utah
Training, background checks, and trauma-informed practices
Ways organizations can get involved
Heartwarming stories of impact and community
Ep 60: Safe Homes, Strong Kids (00:19:39)
Show Notes:
In this special Pride Month episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith and co-host Tami Carson (Director of Community Volunteers at Utah Foster Care) sit down with Adrienne, a longtime foster and adoptive parent and leader of the FLY Cluster—Fostering LGBTQ Youth.
Adrienne shares her personal experience raising five adopted children, two of whom identify as queer, and the powerful impact of simply providing a safe and affirming space. She speaks candidly about the fears some parents may face when a child comes out, and how acceptance, validation, and education can make all the difference in a child’s well-being and future.
Listeners will learn why LGBTQ-specific spaces—like the FLY Cluster—are vital. These monthly virtual meetups offer foster families across Utah the opportunity to connect, share lived experiences, and find support navigating the unique challenges LGBTQ youth may face. From casual get-togethers like root beer floats in the park to more structured peer support, these events are centered on building confidence, community, and connection.
Looking for LGBTQ Resources? Adrienne highlights the comprehensive list available at utahfostercare.org, including statewide organizations like Encircle and the Utah Pride Center. Whether you’re a foster parent, ally, or just someone with a heart for helping kids, there are many ways to get involved—even if fostering isn’t an option for you. Donating event space, sponsoring youth activities, or simply taking the Safe Home Pledge are all meaningful ways to support LGBTQ youth in care.
Tune in to hear heartwarming stories, practical tips, and how you can make a lasting impact in the lives of young people by showing up with love, empathy, and open arms.
Guest Bio: Adrienne Shearer
Adrienne Shearer is a longtime Salt Lake City resident and foster parent who’s been opening her home to kids for the past 14 years. She’s adopted five of those kids and brings a wealth of lived experience to every conversation about parenting, community, and care. Adrienne also works as a Fly Cluster Facilitator and a sign language interpreter. When she’s not juggling schedules or advocating for families, she loves digging in her garden and soaking up quiet moments outdoors.
Transcript:
transcript_ep60_jun25
Ep 59: Common Thread (00:25:45)
This week on Fostering Conversations, Amy and Heidi sit down with Rachel Garrett, Utah foster parent and founder of Common Thread, a nonprofit serving teens ages 12–18 who’ve experienced foster care or similar life circumstances. Rachel shares how a small community event grew into a thriving organization that now supports hundreds of teens through joy-filled activities, life skills workshops, mental health resources, and trauma-informed mentorship.
We talk about the real-life experiences of teens impacted by foster care, the importance of giving them choice and dignity, and how Common Thread is creating safe spaces where teens can thrive. You’ll hear about the stigmas foster families still face, why trauma-informed language matters, and how you can help create lasting change—especially for LGBTQ+ youth in care.
Whether you’re a foster parent, youth advocate, or just curious about how to better support teens, this episode is full of heart, hope, and honest conversation.
What you’ll hear in this episode:
Why Rachel founded Common Thread and how it grew
What trauma-informed support actually looks like for teens
The power of giving teens agency and respecting their identity
Common myths and stigmas about teens in foster care
How Common Thread fosters inclusive spaces, especially for LGBTQ+ youth
Real stories of resilience, growth, and love
Resources & Links:
Learn more: commonthreadut.com
Follow Common Thread on Instagram
Get involved with Utah Foster Care: Get Involved
Transcript:
transcript_ep59_may25
Ep 58: Celeste Edmunds (00:33:51)
In this heartfelt episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith is joined by guest co-host Jennie Shepherd, Director of Recruitment, as they welcome Celeste Edmonds—Executive Director of The Christmas Box International and author of Garbage Bag Girl.
Celeste shares her inspiring journey from growing up in foster care to leading an organization that supports children in need. She opens up about the impact of The Christmas Box House, the importance of keeping siblings together, and how small acts of kindness—like a stuffed animal or a brand-new duffle bag—can change a child’s life.
We also dive into the realities of foster care, the emotional challenges children face, and how anyone can make a difference. Whether you’re a foster parent, an advocate, or someone looking to give back, this episode will leave you inspired and ready to take action!
Topics Covered:
Celeste’s personal foster care story & the origins of The Christmas Box House
How The Christmas Box House supports children entering care
The importance of keeping siblings together in foster care
Small but powerful ways to make foster children feel seen & valued
How YOU can get involved and make a difference
Resources & Links:
Garbage Bag Girl by Celeste Edmonds – Available on Amazon
Learn more about The Christmas Box International – thechristmasbox.org
Get involved with Utah Foster Care – utahfostercare.org
Guest Bio:
Christmas Box House Executive Director Celeste Edmunds understands what the children she serves at The Christmas Box Houses are going through. She went through it herself. Her biological parents were addicts, and her childhood was an ongoing cycle of police calls, fighting, and physical, sexual, and mental abuse. At age 7, Celeste was taken from her home and placed into a child welfare system, where moving every few months to a new environment became normal. By age sixteen, she had lived in more than 30 cities.
Celeste views her childhood as a difficult but essential growing experience. There were terrible things, but there were also caring people along the way who did what they could to protect and nurture her. She was author Richard Paul Evans’ assistant when he founded The Christmas Box International. She quickly became an integral part of its creation, helping to build and refine the original shelters for a decade before taking a new position in Corporate America. Working in the corporate world gave her valuable knowledge of a different kind, with experience in marketing (receiving Marketer of the Year by Utah Business Magazine), public relations, community giving, and team management. Combining her nonprofit and corporate experience, Celeste is uniquely fit to guide The Christmas Box International. Celeste is passionate about making a difference in the lives of youth and the child welfare system so that others may not have to go through the same experiences she had.
The Christmas Box International celebrates 29 years of defending more than 170,000 children. That is enough to fill Madison Square Garden more than eight and a half times.
Celeste believes that The Christmas Box International is more than a place–it is a concept where community, government, and nonprofits come together to bring the resources to children that they need. As a child who grew up in the system, Celeste understands the importance of providing these youth the opportunity for a better life by providing them with safety, dignity, and hope. Her goal is to give these beautiful children everything she wished for as a child, including hope for a better future.
Celeste released her book last fall titled Garbage Bag Girl. She hopes...
Ep 57: Laura ~ Foster Parent Mentor (00:29:59)
In this episode of Fostering Conversations, we welcome Laura, the force behind the popular Instagram account @FosterParenting! Laura shares her journey into foster care, from a spark of interest as a teenager to becoming a foster parent and content creator. We discuss the realities of foster parenting, the importance of trauma-informed care, and the many ways people can support the foster care system—even if they’re not ready to foster themselves.
This episode is also a bittersweet one, as we say farewell (but not goodbye!) to our longtime co-host Liz Rivera. She reflects on her time with the podcast and the exciting direction Fostering Conversations is heading with Amy at the helm.
What We Cover in This Episode:
How Laura got started in foster care and why she began creating content
Common misconceptions about fostering and why awareness matter
The decline in foster parents nationwide—and what we can do about it
Different ways to get involved beyond fostering (respite care, mentoring, CASA, etc.)
Trauma-informed parenting tips and the best resources for foster families
The power of community and why support groups are essential
Resources Mentioned:
A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting by Sarah Naish Foster Parent College ([check with your agency for coverage]) Utah Foster Care
Join the Conversation!
If you loved this episode, be sure to follow Laura on Instagram at @FosterParenting for more insights and real-life experiences from the foster care world.
Don’t forget to subscribe!
Guest Bio:
Laura is a social media creator and advocate who draws from her experiences as a therapeutic foster parent. She supports and empowers new foster parents as they navigate getting licensed and being new foster parents. Through her videos, she provides practical advice, consideration about trauma-informed care, and relatable stories to help others navigate the complexities of foster care. Laura’s mission is to raise awareness, advocate for children in care, and inspire foster parents to feel confident and prepared in their journey. Links: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@foster.parenting Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/foster.parenting/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fosterparenting Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Foster.Parent.Partner Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/Fosterparenting Download Transcript
Ep 56: Angela Tucker ~ Adoptee Mentoring Society (00:32:19)
Episode Summary:
In this episode of Fostering Conversations, hosts Amy Smith and Liz Rivera sit down with Angela Tucker, adoptee advocate, mentor, and founder of the Adoptee Mentorship Program. Angela shares her journey from being adopted out of foster care to building a global community for adoptees to connect, heal, and grow.
They discuss:
Angela’s experience growing up in a multiracial family.
The challenges of identity and belonging in adoption.
How the Adoptee Mentorship Program is creating spaces for adoptees to connect and find support.
The power of storytelling and mentorship in navigating adoption experiences.
Practical tips for adoptive parents to support their children better.
Angela also offers valuable insights into racial identity in transracial adoption and the importance of building inclusive family networks. Whether you’re an adoptee, an adoptive parent, or just curious about the adoptee experience, this conversation is a must-listen.
Resources Mentioned:
Angela Tucker’s website: AngelaTucker.com
Follow Angela on Instagram: @AngieAdoptee
Watch the documentary Closure on Angela’s website.
Read Angela’s book “You should be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption”
Learn about the Adoptee Mentorship Program and Adoptee Remembrance Day.
Explore Angela’s workshop: “Cultivating an Anti-Racist Family Network for Transracial Caregivers.”
Memorable Quotes:
“There’s something healing about talking to someone who just gets it.” – Angela Tucker
“We don’t just mentor kids. Adoptees at any age need spaces of belonging.” – Angela Tucker
“Love is already there, but behaviors show you understand who we are.” – Angela Tucker
Angela Tucker Bio~
Angela Tucker is a Black transracial adoptee. She is the author of “You Should Be Grateful:” Stories of Race, Identity and Transracial Adoption. Her book was published in April 2023 by Beacon Press. Angela’s search for her biological family is featured in the documentary CLOSURE which premiered on Netflix in 2015. In 2022, Angela founded the non-profit, the Adoptee Mentoring Society to provide virtual mentorship for adoptees world-wide. With 15 years in child welfare, she has appeared on CNN, The Red Table Talk, The New Yorker, and more, advocating for adoptees.
Angela lives in Seattle with her Emmy-award-winning spouse, Bryan Tucker.
Ep 56 transcript
Ep 55: With Siblings ~ Daniela Coats (00:28:50)
Episode Summary:
In this powerful episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy and co-host Liz Rivera welcome Daniela, founder of With Siblings. Daniela shares her unique perspective as a former biological child (“bio kid”) in a foster family and now as a foster/adoptive parent, social worker, and therapist. Together, they dive into the complex dynamics of supporting bio kids in foster and adoptive families, exploring their experiences, emotions, and needs.
Topics Covered:
Daniela’s journey growing up as a bio kid in a fostering family and how it shaped her professional path and personal life.
The importance of giving bio kids a voice in fostering and adoption decisions.
The challenges bio kids face, from feelings of being replaced to adapting to shifting family dynamics.
Insights on fostering strong sibling relationships and managing grief and loss within the family.
The significance of balancing bio kids’ needs with those of children in care.
How parents and professionals can better support bio kids using tools, training, and open communication.
Daniela’s resources, including her trainings, worksheets, and her book, The Day Lily Turned Uninvisible, inspired by real bio kid experiences.
Key Takeaways:
All Kids Matter: Supporting children in foster care is essential, but bio kids also face unique challenges and deserve attention, empathy, and resources.
Open Communication: Parents should involve bio kids in decisions and validate their feelings to foster a sense of inclusion and understanding.
Realistic Expectations: Foster parenting is hard but rewarding. Embrace the challenges with knowledge, tools, and the shared experiences of others.
Educational Resources: Daniela’s work fills a crucial gap in the foster care space, providing actionable insights and support for both families and professionals.
Connect with Daniela:
Website: WithSiblings.org
Instagram: @WithSiblings
Explore her book: The Day Lily Turned Uninvisible and other free resources on her site.
Special Thanks:
Thank you to Daniela for her candid and invaluable insights and for the incredible training and resources she provides for Utah Foster Care and families everywhere.
Stay Connected:
For more episodes, visit Utah Foster Care. Don’t forget to follow us on social media and subscribe to Fostering Conversations wherever you get your podcasts!
Guest Bio
“Daniela is the founder of With Siblings, an organization that exists to support the birth children in foster and adoptive families by equipping parents and professionals through training and resources.
Daniela is a self-identified birth kid. Her parents fostered when she was a child, and eventually adopted her youngest sibling. Having grown up in a home that fostered and adopted, Daniela was a temporary sibling to many children. Now, Daniela and her husband have children by both birth and adoption.
While Daniela has a variety of experience in social work contexts, she has spent most of her career working in foster care and adoption. Daniela Coats is a Licensed Master Social Worker in the state of Texas. She is currently a therapist under supervision at Be Still Counseling and Consulting in Texas. She has contributed to professional writings on the subject, and is the author of The Day Lily Turned (un)Invisible, a children’s book written specifically for biological kids in foster families.”
Ep 54: Peter Mutabazi (00:29:15)
Episode Summary:
In this episode of Fostering Conversations, Amy and Liz are joined by Peter Mutabazi, also known as “Foster Dad Flipper” on Instagram. Peter shares his inspiring journey from being a street child in Uganda to becoming a foster parent in the United States. Over the past nine years, Peter has fostered 45 children, adopted three, and is currently fostering three more. He discusses the joys and challenges of being a single foster dad, the importance of community support, and how his experiences have shaped his approach to co-parenting with biological families.
Peter also highlights his foundation, Now I Am Known, which creates personalized room makeovers for teenagers in foster care, giving them a sense of belonging and ownership. Throughout the conversation, Peter emphasizes the value of empathy, the power of community, and the many ways people can support foster families, even if they aren’t fostering themselves. Tune in to be inspired by Peter’s story and his commitment to making a difference in the lives of children and families.
Guest Bio:
Peter Mutabazi is the founder of Now I Am Known, an organization that supplies resources to support vulnerable children. Originally from Uganda, Peter ran away from an abusive home at age ten and lived as a street kid for nearly five years. Today Peter is a single dad to countless foster children and his adopted son, Anthony. For the past twenty years Peter has worked as a child advocate within the U.S. and globally to promote wellness and child development. He believes every child deserves to be seen, heard, and known. Peter has appeared on international media outlets and is a passionate speaker who resides in North Carolina.
For more information visit: www.nowiamknown.com and follow Peter @fosterdadflipper
Transcript
Ep 53: Navigating the Holidays with Trauma (00:25:22)
*This episode was originally aired in December 2020
Episode Summary
Fostering Conversations with Utah Foster Care delves into the unique challenges foster families face during the holiday season. Hosts Deborah Lindner and Liz Rivera are joined by Dan Kammerlohr and Hope Nichols, counselors from Hope and Healing Counseling, to explore strategies for navigating the season’s complexities.
The episode highlights the emotional dynamics for children in foster care, including grief, excitement, and stress that may arise from being separated from biological families or adapting to new traditions. The guests discuss practical approaches for managing expectations, setting boundaries, and helping children regulate their emotions. They also touch on the added impact of the COVID-19 pandemic, which has reshaped how families celebrate together.
Key takeaways include the importance of lowering expectations to reduce stress, preparing children for changes in routines, and acknowledging their unique holiday experiences. Listeners are encouraged to incorporate traditions from the children’s biological families, fostering a sense of connection and respect for their past.
This episode offers a thoughtful guide for foster families aiming to create a holiday season filled with healing and hope, despite the inevitable challenges.
Hope and Healing Family Counseling
Tips for Enjoying the Holidays
To Learn More about Becoming a Foster Parent in Utah
ep53_nov24_transcript
Ep 52: Youth Ambassador (00:24:51)
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In this episode of Fostering Conversations, hosts Deborah Lindner and Liz Rivera sit down with 15-year-old Freedom, a foster youth with a remarkable story of resilience, hope, and self-discovery. Freedom opens up about her experiences growing up in the foster care system, finding her forever family, and the challenges of fitting in as the only Black person in her adoptive family.
Highlights:
Freedom’s Background: Born in Montana, Freedom shares her journey into foster care alongside her brother due to her mother’s struggles with addiction. Placed with multiple families before finding her adoptive parents in Utah, she describes how finding the right family made all the difference.
Life as a Teen in Foster Care: Freedom discusses the challenges of navigating adolescence as a foster youth, touching on themes of identity, belonging, and her ongoing struggle with self-confidence.
Powerful Metaphor of the Puzzle: Freedom beautifully describes her life as a puzzle with missing pieces, symbolizing her fragmented memories and the journey of piecing together her identity.
Representation and Advocacy: Recently named a youth representative for Utah Foster Care, Freedom talks about her desire to be a voice for foster youth, encouraging them to seek support and to not feel alone in their experiences.
The Importance of Asking for Help: Freedom emphasizes the significance of reaching out for help, even when it feels difficult, reminding listeners that everyone deserves to be supported.
Extracurricular Activities: From her involvement in marching band to her modeling debut in Impact Magazine, Freedom shares how these experiences have helped her build community, confidence, and a sense of purpose.
Key Takeaways:
Teens in foster care often face unique challenges and can benefit from supportive families who understand the importance of stability and connection.
Asking for help is a sign of strength, and foster youth deserve to feel seen, understood, and empowered.
Foster parenting isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being willing to learn, adapt, and provide a safe and loving environment.
Resources Mentioned:
For those interested in learning more about foster care or becoming a foster parent, visit utahfostercare.org.
Tune in to hear Freedom’s...
Ep 51: Care Communities (00:30:52)
[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_column_text]In this episode of *Fostering Conversations*, hosts Deborah Lindner and Liz Rivera introduce a new initiative within Utah Foster Care: Care Communities. The program, a two-year pilot spearheaded by First Lady Abby Cox, aims to provide foster families with support teams comprised of community members, businesses, and religious organizations.
The discussion highlights the unique challenges foster parents face, including the emotional and logistical complexities of raising children who have experienced trauma. As Tami Carson, Director of Care Communities, explains, foster parents often need extra support in managing everyday tasks, from carpools to handling difficult behaviors. The Care Communities program addresses this by forming teams of eight to ten people to provide practical and emotional support for foster families. These teams help with a wide variety of tasks, from babysitting to running errands, which helps foster parents focus on their children’s needs.
Tami emphasizes that this program is more than just volunteerism; it is about forming lasting connections between foster families and their communities. The initiative began with participation from several religious organizations and businesses, but Utah Foster Care is looking to expand its reach by recruiting more community and business partners across the state. Carson notes that while many similar programs are faith-based, Utah’s version seeks to involve businesses and secular organizations as well, to ensure diversity and wider support for foster families.
The hosts also discuss the impact of the program on foster families. Tami shares several stories from the pilot phase, illustrating how Care Communities have made a difference in the lives of foster children and parents. For example, a care team helped a foster teen in a rural area build social skills by teaching him to play guitar and taking him on outings. Another team supported a single foster mother by helping her organize her home and providing practical assistance, such as grocery shopping and running errands.
A key point of the conversation is the importance of retaining foster families, as many leave after only one year due to burnout. Care Communities aims to provide the consistent support needed to keep experienced families in the system longer. Liz notes that one foster parent shared how the program allowed her to move out of “survival mode” and focus on thriving as a family.
The hosts encourage listeners to get involved by reaching out to their employers, faith communities, or social groups to form care teams. They emphasize that the program is still in its pilot phase, but they are optimistic about its potential to grow and help foster families across Utah.
In closing, Tami reminds foster parents that whi...
Ep 50: Back to School (00:27:58)
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During a typical school day, our children can spend as much time in class as they do at home, which makes success at school all the more important. Tyler Bastian is director at Utah’s first farm-based charter high school and McKay Esplin is an LCSW and Utah Foster Care trainer.
In our latest episode, they offer insight on how parents and students can build and foster positive school relationships.
For more information:
Roots High Charter School
Volunteer Opportunities at Utah Foster Care
Fostering School Success ~ Upcoming Training
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Ep 49: Looking Back ~ 25 Years of Utah Foster Care (00:49:12)
What began as a bold experiment in Utah now celebrates 25 years of nurturing families and transforming lives. As we reflect on a quarter-century of dedicated service in foster care, we take a moment to appreciate the profound impact that Utah Foster Care has had on countless children, families, and communities
Building on Bold Beginnings
Twenty-five years ago, a visionary idea took root in Utah—to create an organization solely focused on recruiting, training, and supporting foster families. Through the leadership of Governor Mike Leavitt and partnerships with community and state agencies, Utah Foster Care emerged as a unique entity dedicated to serving the needs of foster children and the families who care for them.
Commitment to Children First
At the heart of Utah Foster Care’s mission is an unwavering commitment to putting children’s needs first. As shared by Brian Young, a regional trainer, the primary goal is to ensure that every child in foster care feels safe, understood, and supported. Brian’s moving recollection of a time when the reality of a child’s loss deeply resonated with him emphasizes the importance of empathy and awareness in foster care.
Supporting Foster Families
The organization’s success also lies in its continuous support for foster families. Debra Lindner and Liz Rivera, co-hosts of the podcast, illustrate how Utah Foster Care goes beyond initial training by maintaining long-term relationships with foster parents. This ongoing support helps equip families with the skills needed to provide nurturing and stable environments for children who have experienced trauma.
Recognizing and Addressing Challenges
Utah Foster Care has always been proactive in addressing systemic challenges. From embracing cultural diversity to implementing inclusive practices, the organization has made significant strides. Mike, a clinical consultant, and Les, a trainer, discussed efforts to understand and honor the cultural backgrounds of children in care, particularly those from Native American and Latino communities.
The Evolution of Training and Understanding
In the early years, foster training was more behavior-focused. Over time, it has evolved into a trauma-informed approach grounded in brain science. Understanding the brain’s development and the impact of trauma has revolutionized the training provided to foster parents, emphasizing the need for compassion and tailored support.
A Vision for the Future
Looking ahead, Utah Foster Care aspires to have families waiting for children, not the other way around. The organization remains committed to adapting based on continuous learning and the evolving needs of children and families. The involvement of Governor Cox and First Lady Abby Cox has brought unprecedented attention and resources to the cause, promising even greater progress in the years to come.
Conclusion
As we commemorate 25 years of Utah Foster Care, we celebrate the resilience of the children, the dedication of foster families, and the passion of the staff. With over 16,000 families trained since 1999, Utah Foster Care stands as a beacon of hope and compassion. For those inspired to join this journey, remember that you don’t need to know everything to become a foster parent—you just need to be willing to learn. To find out more about foster parenting and other ways to get involved, visit utahfostercare.org. Here’s to another 25 years of making a difference, one child at a time.
Want to learn more about becoming a Foster Parent?
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Ep. 48: Mama Dragons: Celebrating LGBTQ Children (00:26:54)
In this podcast episode, hosts Deborah Linder and Liz Rivera discuss the challenges and support systems for families with LGBTQ children, particularly focusing on the organization Mama Dragons. The episode begins with a brief introduction and proceeds to explore how Mama Dragons evolved from a small group of mothers to a significant support network. Special guest Jen Blair, host of the Mama Dragons podcast ‘In the Den,’ shares insights about reassuring parents when their child comes out and the importance of creating an inclusive and supportive environment at home.
Jen emphasizes the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ youth in foster care, noting that they are overrepresented in the system and often face higher risks of self-harm and mental health issues. The discussion highlights the crucial role of mothers in protecting and advocating for their LGBTQ children, especially in conservative or religious communities where acceptance might be more challenging.
Throughout the episode, various strategies for fostering a supportive environment are discussed, including the importance of educating parents, building a community of allies, and promoting positive dialogues about LGBTQ role models. Jen also underscores the significance of religious and community support, and how organizations like Mama Dragons and the Family Acceptance Project help families navigate these complexities.
The conversation covers the benefits of proactive parenting and the necessity of providing LGBTQ youth with mentors and role models. Finally, the episode touches on the importance of Pride Month as a celebration of LGBTQ identity and the value of pride events for visibility and acceptance. The hosts encourage anyone, regardless of their current understanding, to seek education and join the support networks available. The episode concludes with a call for more foster parents, especially those who can provide supportive homes for LGBTQ youth.
Full Transcript
Want to learn more about becoming a Foster Parent?
Bonus Episode: Special Hearts (00:25:17)
The bonus episode titled "Special Hearts" centers around the theme of special needs foster care, spotlighting the experiences and insights of foster parents who have taken on this demanding yet rewarding role. Hosted by Deborah Linder and Liz Rivera, the episode features heartfelt conversations with Amy, a seasoned foster mother from Utah, and Katie Welling, who works with New Alternatives for Children in New York.
**Amy’s Journey:**
Amy, a foster mom with 25 years of experience, shares her journey into fostering, particularly children with special needs. Initially a special education teacher, Amy's professional background naturally transitioned into her role as a foster parent. She has adopted eight out of her ten children and currently cares for a child in foster care. Amy explains that many children enter foster care without a prior diagnosis of special needs, such as ADHD or fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, which often complicates their care. Despite these challenges, Amy emphasizes the profound joy and fulfillment that fostering brings, particularly when children surpass expectations.
**Challenges and Rewards:**
Amy discusses the common challenges faced in special needs foster care, such as accessing appropriate services and ensuring the children are seen beyond their diagnoses. She stresses the importance of recognizing and appreciating the individuality and potential of each child, rather than getting overwhelmed by their medical or developmental needs. Additionally, Amy highlights the rewarding aspects, recounting her personal story of a son who defied grim medical predictions and thrived, bringing immense joy and inspiration to her life.
**Katie’s Perspective:**
Katie Welling adds her perspective from New York, focusing on the crucial role of community support for foster families. She notes that fostering children with special needs requires a robust support network, which can sometimes be a challenge in densely populated yet disconnected urban areas. Katie advocates for building and leveraging community connections to support foster parents, emphasizing the importance of practical help from friends, family, and neighbors.
**Support Systems:**
Both Amy and Katie underline the significance of support systems in successful fostering. Amy describes how her local community and family assist in various ways, from household help to emotional support. Katie echoes this, sharing how in New York, fostering agencies work to help families identify and utilize their support networks. This communal involvement is essential for managing the complexities of special needs care.
**Parental Empowerment:**
Another critical aspect discussed is the empowerment of biological parents. Amy shares her experiences of working alongside the parents of foster children to help them understand and manage their child's needs better. This collaborative approach not only benefits the children but also strengthens family bonds and aids in the reintegration process when children return to their biological families.
**Encouragement and Call to Action:**
The episode concludes with an encouraging message for potential foster parents. Both Amy and Katie highlight that fostering, especially children with special needs, though challenging, is incredibly rewarding. They call on those with the love and commitment to step forward, assuring them that the necessary support and resources are available. Katie, who has personal experience as an adoptee, underscores the transformative impact that compassionate foster care can have on children's lives.
The episode "Special Hearts" thus paints a comprehensive and inspiring picture of special needs foster care, celebrating the dedication of foster parents and the resilience of the children they care for. It serves as both an informative guide and a motivational appeal to those considering embarking on this life-changing journey .
Resources:
Ep 47: Utah's Foster Parent Shortage (00:28:06)
Wouldn’t it be great to see foster homes waiting for children, rather than children waiting for homes? Unfortunately, Utah is nowhere near having enough homes, especially those to support kids with special needs.
This month is National Foster Care Month, and we talk to two leaders in our state’s foster care community about our shortage of foster parents in Utah.
Check out our Upcoming Events!
Episode Summary:
This episode of the podcast discusses the decline in the number of foster parents in Utah and the nationwide trend. The conversation highlights the importance of foster care and how the shortage of foster families impacts the system's ability to care for children in need.
The Problem:
The episode opens with Liz, the show host, mentioning a nationwide trend of a decline in families coming forward to foster children. Tonya, the Director at Utah’s Child and Family Services, confirms this trend and adds that the number of foster parents in Utah has been going down since 2022. They discuss the fact that while they expected a decrease at the beginning of the pandemic, the opposite happened. The number of families coming forward to foster actually increased during the first year or two of the pandemic.
The Importance of Foster Care:
The conversation then shifts to the importance of foster care. Tonya emphasizes that the goal of the Utah Division of Child and Family Services (DCFS) is always to keep children safe, ideally at home with their families. When that’s not possible, the focus is on finding a safe and kin-based placement for the child. Kin-based placement refers to placing the child with relatives whenever possible. However, when there are no relatives available, having a sufficient pool of foster families becomes crucial.
How You Can Help:
Considering becoming a foster parent: Fill out the form below for more information on becoming a foster parent.
Volunteering: Check out our volunteer page for upcoming events.
Donating to Utah Foster Care: Financial contributions can help support foster families and child welfare organizations.
Call to Action:
Consider getting involved in foster care, whether that means becoming a foster parent or donating time or money to support the children in care.
Episode Transcript
Want to learn more about becoming a Foster Parent?
Ep 46: Cultural Perspectives in Foster Care (00:26:31)
In this enlightening podcast, Deborah Lindner and Liz Rivera from Utah Foster Care engage in a thought-provoking discussion with Nikki Walker, Director of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at Domo. They delve into the essence of diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) within the foster care system, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging and respecting the cultural backgrounds of children in care. Nikki eloquently explains DEI concepts, advocating for empathy and understanding as essential components of fostering a sense of belonging. Through anecdotes and insights, they underscore the necessity of embracing diversity to create inclusive environments where all individuals feel valued and empowered to thrive.
Tips for creating a sense of belonging as a foster parent:
Acknowledge and respect cultural diversity: Recognize and honor the cultural backgrounds, traditions, and faiths of children in care.
Maintain connections to the child's community: Encourage participation in cultural activities, playgroups, and events relevant to the child's heritage.
Educate yourself and your child: Have open conversations about race, identity, and societal perceptions to help children navigate their experiences.
Create a sense of belonging: Foster environments where children feel valued, heard, and celebrated for their authentic selves.
Build relationships with birth parents: Bridge cultural divides by forming meaningful connections with the families of children in care.
Be willing to learn and adapt: Continuously educate yourself on DEI principles and be open to adjusting your approach to meet the needs of diverse children effectively.
Want to learn more about becoming a Foster Parent?
Ep 45: Shifting the Focus (00:22:17)
Shifting the Focus.
Policies on adoption have often focused on adoptive parents, rather than the well being of adoptees and birth parents. The Open Adoption Project podcast, hosted by Shaunn and Lanette Nelson, adoptive parents from Utah, are back with another crossover episode on Fostering Conversations. They aim to flood the podcast sphere with adoption-related content, sharing perspectives and opinions to foster learning and understanding.
In this featured episode, they highlighted the importance of openness, honesty, and listening to adoptee voices. They urged adoptive parents to get involved in promoting adoptee rights and to hold adoption agencies accountable for their practices.
The hosts shared four key tips:
Removing shame and secrecy
Promoting honesty and open communication
Listening to adoptee voices
Getting involved in advocating for adoptee rights
Utah Foster Care is also excited to have Lanette and Shaun Nelson host a panel of adoptees at our 2024 Annual Symposium April 25th 8:30-4pm, in Park City, Utah. The public is welcome and can register here.
Want to learn more about becoming a Foster Parent?
Ep. 44: Attachment (00:26:48)
Attachment
In this podcast episode, hosts Deborah Lindner and Liz Rivera engage in a profound discussion with Dr. Lee Raby, a distinguished expert in attachment research from the University of Utah. The focal point is the critical role attachment plays in the development of children within the foster care system.
The conversation kicks off by outlining the distinctions between love and attachment, emphasizing attachment's significance, particularly in foster care environments. Dr. Raby describes attachment as a fundamental instinct, rooted in a child's biological need for care and security.
Dr. Raby addresses the complexities of attachment in foster care. The discussion sheds light on how children, even those exposed to maltreatment, form attachments that may be insecure or disorganized. The signs of insecure attachment, such as resistance to comfort, are explored, providing crucial insights for foster parents.
Dr. Raby also delves into the challenges associated with multiple attachments in foster care, emphasizing the emotional toll on children transitioning between caregivers. Foster parents are encouraged to be mindful of their attachment styles and expectations, fostering a nuanced understanding of the child's needs.
The hosts touch upon available resources for foster parents, including in-service classes and trauma-informed care programs. Dr. Raby concludes with indispensable advice, and urges foster parents to consistently and appropriately meet a child's attachment needs.
This episode serves as a valuable guide for foster parents, highlighting the important role of secure connections in promoting the well-being and resilience of children. Ongoing education is vital. We invite foster parents to actively engage with available resources for a more informed and compassionate approach.
Additional Resources:
Circle of Security
Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI)
The Whole Brain Child (Book)
The Connected Child (Book)
What Happened to You (Book)
Child Trauma Academy
Trauma: A Compassion-Driven Approach with Liz Rivera
Pre-Service Training
Want to learn more about becoming a Foster Parent?
Ep 43: Curly Me! (00:29:35)
Curly Me! is a nonprofit that’s a resource for Utah families with children of color – specifically black girls between the ages of 5-14 years of age. In this episode, we hear more about “Change the World with Her” and other upcoming events.
In 2021, Black children represented 14% of the total child population but 22% of all kids in foster care. By comparison: White kids represent 49% of the nation’s child population and only 43% of its foster care population. Although the number of Black children in care has been on the decline for the past two decades, the need for culturally sensitive foster homes remains critical.
To learn more about Utah's children in care, visit Utah Foster Care
To get involved with Curly Me!
Want to learn more about becoming a Foster Parent?
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